Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Unexpected item
Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML
Today, I got hit so hard in the head by a dodgeball that a contact popped right out. To make matters worse, I continued to get hit as a futilely searched for it. FML
Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML
Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML
Top comments
loller27 6
You have to know the 5 D's of dodgeball. Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge.
JMTS 0
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball...
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Comments (277)
Avoriginies_fml_fml 14
Oh that's just the worst
JMTS 0
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball...
BrickWalls 2
Hey hes fluffy it's Ok:)
MichellinMan 20
unfortunately, you can say that about every FML.
oXali 0
Roid rage dodge ball much?...
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
I don't see why this was bad. I understand getting knocked out sucks, but I'd rather it be the football star than the school nerd?
comedybreak 20
This sucks :/ well at least this should give you motivation to actually work out a bit more and try a workout program like P90X. Just sayin' for your health
Bball_boy15 3
You seem to know a lot of info of this guy... Even his bench press...
iamabamf 17
Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge.
MCweSCRAPPY 2
Could've been worse! "Today my school's 6'2, 2
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Yeah 189, that's just awful D:
Jamialia 5
I hate when that happens
sexylol_fml 4
Oh my gosh I feel so bad for you! I have always hated that game!
eaterofpies 0
I don't get it. Is he 270 lbs or 350 lbs???
borkchop1992 15
Holy shit our 6'7 245 pound water polo star player probably couldn't do that
DooleyFTW 17
I've never been able to understand why in America just because someone's good at sport they have to be the king of the school. In Ireland sport has nothing to do with social status..
borkchop1992 15
I'm not saying he's king of the school im just saying that he has a pretty good throw since he does water polo...
Cartera 10
nice stereotyping
Amrel 10
In my school we are all just equal, that whole "jocks are cool" thing is a myth. I also live in America too *gasp*
RamenForTheWin 10
#12 Great, I'm moving there in a week. That'll be a refresher.
tanneriscool 2
23 - terrible comment. Just terrible.. Thats not stereo typing, that's just stating a fact that the kid has a mean throw.
silentbutfunny 0
27 where the hell is your school?!
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
I'm 6'2 weigh 200 lbs and bench 255. Yes I'm in football. But guess what? I am definitely not a jock. I play more video games than I work out, and I treat the "nerds" and the "cool kids" all the same. With respect as long as I get it back. Don't judge based off of the school title. That means nothing when it comes to character.
afunnyterdcody 5
Water polo is for queers haha but its cool
DooleyFTW 17
#2 I wasn't saying that's what you meant I was just commenting on the fact it does seem to be the case in a lot of schools! Most Americans I know seem to agree that "jocks" and "nerds" etc are actual social statuses in their school's.
zombicidal 11
at my school the jocks are "popular" I don't mind a few most are okay but two or three are just total douche bags
cruxx 0
Everyone at my school was a happy go lucky ray of ******* sunshine. It was kinda scary
Pacifica1165 13
111 - I see where you're coming from; the media generally seems to reinforce the idea that American schools are split between nerds, jocks, etc. Personally, I don't really think that's how it is in most American schools but I wouldn't really know since I only know the schools around my area. xD Like #27 said, at my school & the schools nearby, the idea of social class doesn't really exist. Heck, the smarter kids are always much more respected at my school & it's a school that's not doing so well. And generally the nerds are the cooler ones and they can be really athletic and sociable too. I know that the media always make it seem like American schools have social classes but in reality, as much as I've experienced, we don't.
waswashere 0
My school is band geeks, jrotc people, and other
ColdplaySucks 18
I play neopets (waits for thumbs down...)
MagicallyFat 12
94 I'm 6'3" 290 and I played football too. And I've never been mean to anyone at my school. Some of my best friends weren't some of the cool people. I feel like that whole "jock" is only in the movies or sometime ago.
buck33 14
At my school there are definately groups like band geek, jock, prep, skater douche, etc. Me and my friends all play sports and I guess you could call us jocks but we are nice to almost everybody
uncleturtle 0
The lower classmen in my school seem particularly fixated on different social groups, but when it comes right down to it with the upper classmen, they're much better about putting aside differences. It's mostly a matter of learning to accept others regardless of where society says they should be categorized.
PandaLoverXD 12
I live in Texas and football players are not kings of the school. I don't even know who they are. o___o
MagicallyFat 12
212 my school was almost the same way. Except on a much much smaller scale. They didn't completely fixate on it but if you looked really hard enough it's there. Our junior year we all became friends.
bamagrl410 31
Why does everyone assume that just because we place a lot of emphasis on sports, our athletes are automatically assholes who treat other non-athletes like crap? My school and even school district was never like that. Athletes are well-known, sure. But not everyone is a stuck up, egocentric jerk just because they enjoy playing sports. *sigh*
Tsunami87 17
I'm 8'8" 750 pounds benching 1000 pounds and I never have a problem with anyone. I'm so accepting of everybody. *surprised nobody has done this yet with all the stat dropping*
Sebastian_NG 17
In my highschool (which is not in the US) you couldn't simply point out some stereotype, each class had it's own dynamics, people got along differently according to their class, and you could pretty much see a class in which everyone was nice to each other, then go next door and see the exact opposite, as for the stereotype of US schools, for what I've heard from people who go there it's mostly true, at least in most highschools, for those of you who say there's no such thing in your schools, that's just great, and that's how it's supposed to be, although I don't think you can speak for your entire school based only on how things are for you.
HaleyXx_fml 11
#239 if your really 8 ft 8 then you should call the guineas book of world records.
Sebastian_NG 17
Yep, I'm sure guinea pigs are interested in big people. Funny random fact, we eat guinea pigs in my country.
silentbutfunny 0
Random fact : eating guinea pigs in my country is shunned upon
HaleyXx_fml 11
It's called auto correct I didn't even spell it like that so stfu you ignorant person. Your verbal sarcasm isn't even amusing.
marmlr339 14
FYL OP. just wait for karma
aceman1992 9
Who's to say this isn't karmas way of catching up to OP for something they previously done?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
It might be, 33, but that doesn't mean OP's assailant is off the hook. Otherwise we can justify all our bad actions with them being karma for whoever they affected. It would be nice, though!
salsa324 0
What's OP mean and -(what ever number) u want
zombicidal 11
he was just playing a game he may have thrown it a little too hard but that doesn't mean he did anything wrong
docscientist 10
As far as karma points, I doubt this would even register.
ccsmilvr 0
OP means "original poster" lol it took me forever to figure out :P
DKjazz 20
Well, if he hit you in the head, he got out. At least, that's how it worked at my school. Instant karma.
Isaac_The_Man 0
At our school we have a 6'2 210 pound football star too.. Funny thing, he's in the 7th grade
TyffaniHope 4
Damn Dx ouch
moop256 10
Let's hope op wasn't wearing glasses
RrLSf19 0
Ya it really hurts. Happend to me once..
loller27 6
You have to know the 5 D's of dodgeball. Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge.
FireFlie07 20
Haha, I was thinking the same thing!
Pentium_4 27
he must not have been able to dodge the wrenches either
cupcakemann95 7
Don't forget the "R"! Run like a little bitch!
hugsandisses 6
13 - lol no you werent
RetardedChipmunk 7
If you can dodge a wrench, yiu can dodge a ball
Carbonation 0
22 - Obviously hasn't seen the movie. Also, nobody makes me bleed my own blood.
xxDefiantxx 0
#5-No remember chicken littles gold fish dude or whatever...dodge, duck, dip, dive, dance
friedchickenpie 14
I'm afraid this guy didn't have the "Luck o' the Irish"
burtonbullet 10
You've got to learn the dance of the dodge. Apparently someone wasn't paying attention to the A.D.A.A film.
aantho_fml 0
Too bad they don't make a "Your dodgeball coach just got crushed by 2 tons of irony" hallmark card.
boundbytheanimus 9
So you're about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop! -Patches
tennisrapper1 14
He must have looked like a retard trying to **** a doorknob when he took that kind of blow!
TeeeTeee 5
Hahah what a great movie :)
Breezy4sheezy 2
Should have tried the blindfold. LOL!
omgdoublefml 3
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball! It's training time ladies!
mckibben 7
If you can Dodge traffic you can Dodge a ball!!
Kinney97 6
guess you havent mastered "dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge"
TPSerigne 9
Nice. Thumbs up for you.
TPSerigne 9
It was almost as funny as when Loller, the person who commented right above you, said it.
Xxsuper_medicxX 3
42-Hey sporto, maybe you should've checked that they posted it at the same time
KeyboardWarrior 10
Cut him some slack, those comments were posted at the same time, only a few seconds apart.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Actually, it was at the exact same time :p
loller27 6
sorry about that...at least we know now that great minds really do think alike
TPSerigne 9
Aw Internet sympathy.
TPSerigne 9
Btw I wasn't hating on him. I was just stating that it was funnier the first time his comment was said.
CDeCam 9
O'Doyle rules!
burtonbullet 10
Wrong movie, but still good.
Heofpeanuts 2
Ive you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball!
ClassyCommando 13
If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball!
guitarboy574 0
If you can dodge SHUT THE **** UP you can dodge a ball
AdrianEC 15
And now you know to never anger a jock, you nerd.
FireFlie07 20
The OP may not be a nerd. I'm 5'3 and under 130 and I've taken down guys the same size before. If you know where to hit em' they will fall.
larrythedeer 6
Just because a guy is big doesn't mean he is slow and doesn't know how to fight.
angrymexican 8
I accidentally thumbed you up. Dammit! Now I must sacrifice 100 goats on the top of a mountain.
larrythedeer 6
Not that I'm saying you can't take down some one. I'm saying that movies destroy our common sense.
AdrianEC 15
I was just joking. I guess I failed, didn't I?
Dracoboxer357 36
Firefly, you a boxer or were you just referring to delivering a bag-shot? Either way, I do agree with you. Most people I fought were bigger and/or taller than me, and one of the tactics that worked the best was in-fighting: Up under their arms against their bodies, and don't give them a moment to think. It's a case of "closer to danger, further from harm." And it does seem most very large guys can't fight very well, cause they've never really had to. Just too used to leaning on people and throwing their weight around, casually. But I should add the obvious: sometimes the bigger they are, the harder they really do kick your ass. ;)
Glitterhinoceros 14
At least he didn't sit on you afterword??
ISMUGGLEMIDGETZ 3
Damn girl ;)
hrubi4x4 4
Your swxy
AlaskaKid95 7
She is so swxy.
dtr73 3
definitely swxy.
angrymexican 8
And she knows it!
tehrealone 6
Haha that's an attractive thing to say over the internet
tehrealone 6
Sorta, it was "ur swxy"
tehrealone 6
Gah all our comments were deleted :( rhinosaurous is keeping a close eye on this thread, and yes I know you're there -.-
AlaskaKid95 7
My comment was amazing. /:
The_Tool1 13
I actually prefer it when people shit on me after they knock me unconscious.
TexasMud 8
Well then you should try making a video entitled "two guys one...unconscious"
s15c 9
That wasn't funny.
mattclark 0
Nice try
thethatoneguy_21 4
Yea, beef stew on top of being knocked out by a dodgeball. Adds a whole new meaning to insult to injury
TeeeTeee 5
Haha! Good one.