FML
United States
Take the W
Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Whatever
Doggy dog world
Today, my self-esteem has gotten so low that when I was out walking my boss's dog and someone called out, "Beautiful!" I assumed they were talking about the dog. They had to clarify they were speaking about me. FML
Jill
France
Today, a friend of mine commented that I "have a lot of confidence for a fat girl". Ummm... thanks? FML
no good deed
It's the thought that counts
Today, I was feeling pretty down due to a recent back injury, so I thought I’d do something nice to help lift my spirits. I bought some cookies for my coworkers, who ended up not wanting any, and one of them decided to ask what was wrong with my face. Oh, right, my acne rosacea is flaring too. FML
pupitre
Canada
Bad omen
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Anonymous
Pierrefonds, Canada
Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
ugly duckling
Reston, United States
Today, feeling very self-conscious about my looks, I told my mom I felt ugly and wished I could be as beautiful as her. She only said, "Yeah, I'm pretty, I wonder what happened to you." FML
lucy_g
United States
Thanks
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
cookiecutter8
Carlsbad, United States
Today, a guy started complimenting me and calling me beautiful. Halfway through, he burst out laughing and said he couldn't do it. Who needs self confidence, anyway? FML
joking0303
United States
Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Anonymous
United States
Self-esteem issues
Today a cute coworker asked me out to lunch but I said no because I know how unattractive I am, and didn't think he wanted to be seen with me. He got really pissed and told me that I needed to work on my self-esteem. I just blew up something that could have been wonderful. FML
Top comments
Outsider_77 0
Not everyone can be a winner. Feel honored.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Buy a lifetime supply of fortune cookies, so whenever you're feeling sad, you get a compliment and a cookie c:
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Comments (131)
Outsider_77 0
Not everyone can be a winner. Feel honored.
RaggleFrock 13
Everyone CAN be a winner.
FireFlie07 20
No, they can't be. But they can give it a shot.
RaggleFrock 13
That sounds like loser talk to me.
xSonic 9
It was a typo, duh. It was supposed to say,"You have an attitude of a wiener."
mfjkr 10
#23..or tiger eyes..
cordelay98 10
yea not every one is a winner..... if everyone is then..... i don't know where I'm supposed to be...
Roevera 14
I'm not trying to be depressing, but in reality 11 is right. There just isn't enough room for EVERYONE to be a winner, and plus many aren't given the opportunity to be winners. However, the harder you try the farther you'll go. :)
RrLSf19 0
We're all winners!
csickcman 11
So, a winner has a low self-esteem? Damn. I've got it all wrong.
AnonymousTroll 2
Charlie Sheen is always winning!
unitedfan11 0
Everyone CAN be a winner. It just depends on what people perceive a winner to be. Some people see a doctor as a winner but others see a manager at McDonalds as a winner. Don't worry OP, the only person that can stop you from being a winner is yourself. It depends on what you perceive as a winner.
skata 4
were all born winners
glenzhao2 16
OP, you're easily the most amazing person I know, now go out there and have a great day!!
ladyLALAA 29
Yes, I'm on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen.
sk8rchick97 0
Go on YouTube, listen to Justin Bieber. Feel good that your voice is deeper than his. Your welcome!
ajswigg 0
That is pretty darn cute lol
fadingfaith 4
What if it's not?
jacob4592 0
Lmao that's the same thing I was hearing
Geneside 8
Lol
borkchop1992 15
All you need is a little sugah to boost that
sarbear293 4
?
drawmesunshine 17
I'm pretty sure he's hitting on OP, but in a really creepy way..
silentbutfunny 0
Creepy? I find it oddly arousing (Sarcasm)
marmlr339 14
Well maybe you should work on improving your self esteem!! It may be difficult and take time, but it'll be worth it!
SecretMe00 5
Cookies!!! The irony in this all is that cookies make you fat which lowers self esteem... It's a continuous **** in the ass.
BayleeWasHere 1
Yes, yes it is.
breeY0 7
hush
TheRealBrianGrif 7
... In bed
monkeysareyummy 0
You could literally add "in bed" at the end of every fortune and it makes it x10 hilarious.
whosays1 7
To make it 20X funnier, you say in bed, naked
j_cat187 20
You will have a very successful career, ...in bed.
eminemop 0
~ read in Brians voice ~
loller27 6
At least it was coming from a cookie.
marmlr339 14
But it did come from a cookie...
angrymexican 8
That's what he said...
tanneriscool 2
Confused people... Smh.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Buy a lifetime supply of fortune cookies, so whenever you're feeling sad, you get a compliment and a cookie c:
justin0562 2
Call me 12396005636
thethatoneguy_21 4
I love fortune cookies, except when I ask for one at a Japanese restaraunt and get cussed out because apparently they're a Chinese thing.......
TheLoneWandererX 2
In bed?
Shelta957 13
What's wrong with a compliment from a cookie??
Poser1337 5
Nothing. Just don't trust the cookie.
Cryptic_Equinox 0
89- thats the cake you shouldnt be trusting.
Pelreskovich 11
But at least you're a winner!