Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML
Today, I got hit so hard in the head by a dodgeball that a contact popped right out. To make matters worse, I continued to get hit as a futilely searched for it. FML
Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML
Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML
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Top comments
loller27 6
You have to know the 5 D's of dodgeball. Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge.
JMTS 0
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball...
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Comments (277)
njgohard 16
I see you play for Average Joe's.
GoW_Chick 15
I always thought Dodgeball was fixed, there are always those people who are trying to hurt someone on purpose, because they are jerks, and get away with it because it was an "accident."
lilwojo13 6
That's kinda the point of dodgeball in the first place...
GoW_Chick 15
I meant fixed as in athletic against the not so athletic, and when people go over board with it and severely hurt someone, I do realize the point of dodgeball is to throw a ball at the other team, but that doesn't mean you have to put all your power behind it and be a jerk.
t765234 10
Well atheletic activities tend to lean toward the side of the atheletically inclined, hence "atheletic"
GoW_Chick 15
You know what nevermind, I should of just made a joke involving Vince vaungh and Ben Stiller, or OP dodging wrenches, instead of giving my opinion, my bad, I'll remember that next time.
LaughinStock 16
DAMN RIGHT YOU WILL 115!!!! :) nah but I understand where you're coming from. Then again people can choose not to play.
melibear89 7
115- don't get so bent outta shape because people are arguing a point. It'll make you a target for harassment. I understand what your saying the more athletic tend to throw harder at the non- athletic and try to sometimes really hurt them. OP I'm sorry that happened you.
GoW_Chick 15
218- I wasn't really getting bent out of shape over it, I was just making an observation about how people react differently toward jokes than opinions, and I don't care if that makes me a target, actually some people can be quite funny on here with said "harassment."
jakeacdc 0
**** you
Amrel 10
Im guessing you were the schools "last guy picked" guy?
angrymexican 8
He was picked after the white kids! (it's a joke)
ouchie1013 0
like!
Pelreskovich 11
Dang.. Did anyone catch the ball after it hit you so he got out? If so, way to be a team player!
Cartera 10
Think on the bright side, you caught up on sleep!
ISMUGGLEMIDGETZ 3
Lol that's why you don't play dodgeball.
kahru1 9
I hope you're in college... either way, that guy's pretty big
Amrel 10
Dodgeball in college... Da ****?
t765234 10
I'm 6'2 190 as a highschool sophomore, although my bench weight sucks, and there is a 6'3 300 sophomore on my football team as well who benches around 250-275.
hrubi4x4 4
Lifes a bitch. What can i tell ya. But think bout it this way. In the real world if ur a "loser nerd" ull be his boss.
MeanInGreen 3
Sucks man
kay2810 9
I'd rather it be a dodgeball then getting sacked by him in football..