Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML
Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML
Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, I fractured my tibia, fibula, and tore a tendon in my ankle. How? You might ask. By stepping in a hole at soccer practice. Now I’ll be out for the entire season with months of rehab. FML
Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML
Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML
Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SeahorseGuy 7
Dude, that's why I don't play football. That must have hurt. Hope you are feeling better.
Kiki242 19
That's one of the ultimate FMLs for a guy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (141)
SeahorseGuy 7
Dude, that's why I don't play football. That must have hurt. Hope you are feeling better.
zandalee 20
Thank **** for the protective cup!
ydi_4_suking 20
I guess you're not groin to play football for a while
mystashisgone 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Put me in coach!...never mind can I get a do over without the psycho on the field? I'm sorry op. the guy who did that to you will have to live with that for the rest of his life. Depending on how he lives with that may or may not make him an acceptable part or society... Some people learn from mistakes, others think that mistakes are beyond them and that they are better than the average person. I hope he isn't the latter of the two. If so you aren't the last to stand in his way on the way to the top in the penitentiary.
zandalee 20
36- what are you smoking?
Krirn 21
38 - Whatever it was, and according to his username, he smoked it all.
emilyjgraham 34
36, um, I know I'm stating the obvious to most people but... I don't think he attacked the poor guy on purpose.
buck33 14
36 -It's football. OP signed up for this. Man I can't imagine how bad that must feel. I'm one of the smaller lineman on my team, And for 3 hours a day I hit linemen.
angry_anonymous 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that's why they tell you NOT to wear a cup when you play football. it will hurt LESS if you get hit in the nuts without it on than if you get hit with it on and it moves
jacsoccerdude3 10
Always protect the McNuggets.
onlychildFTW 34
I'm pretty sure for football they suggest you WEAR a cup.
9726 5
Actually the don't. The way the cup sits it chaffs horribly if you do wear one. Also the chances of you getting hit in the nuts are pretty slim because of the way the pants fit. A cup is not suited for a long driving blow such as a shoulder. The cup can slide under the continuous weight and do severe testicular damage. A cup is designed for a quick hard blow with no driving force. Such as a baseball.
sens3sfailing 25
103-well said. This is correct because my football coaches at not only my school but the 8 other coaches at the 2 football camps I attended never once suggested wearing a cup. Neither me nor any of my teammates got hit in the nuts while playing over my 4 year career. I only got hit in the nuts once before practice by the team douche bag...
ILUVMSC 5
Oh my god :O
MDashwood 4
At least you had the cup! Imagine the state you'd be in if you hadn't! Family jewels would be no more!
Rinat_fml 26
Geez people, leave him alone already. It was fun reading the comments though!
Eluveitie 9
You're trying way too hard to be funny. Please stop...
Eluveitie 9
*#36
mazio09210517 5
you... I don't even know what to say.
theartists 5
Then don't.
mazio09210517 5
wow. if you don't like what I say thumb me down and move on. Who the hell are you to tell me I can't post.
sunnyt 5
13- Welcome to FML. But you should leave.
astralvagan 20
This is FML.... If you get offended by something someone said on here, you are probably on the wrong site.
mazio09210517 5
you guys are ruthless and rude.
HighGTurn 12
You're obviously too sensitive to be on here If you can't handle a few thumbs down. Leave.
astralvagan 20
Your profile says you're 17..... No wonder you can't take the "adult" humor.
eeppiicc 8
18, imagine that, people who get on a site to laugh at other people's misfortune are ruthless..
PeteyPablo12308 20
Oh believe me, we're more then happy to thumb you down. Your comment was completely devoid of purpose, you said so yourself.
KrazieKleo 13
Today, some 17 year old got offended on FML. FHL
FirebirdF350 7
Dude, your 17, and offended? Actually, the more surprising thing is that you didn't realize we are ruthless, by the way, pictures of hand guns don't look cool when attached to comments such as yours. Especially since you're too young to own one, if you had shown maturity and some commonsense we might have let you slide. Let the thumbs bury you as one day they shall me.
FatGuyLover 0
How long have u been on this site for? A lot of people believe that a thumbsdown isnt enough for a few "special" individuals, and go out of their way, an extra mile just so those few "special" individuals get the crystal clear message that they are idiots. You my not so dear friend, are an idiot. Nd btw let your balls drop, even my little 11 year old cousin wouldnt cry over a little arguement over the internet
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Mazio- you should go to 4Chan instead. You'll like it there.
mazio09210517 5
Excuse me but I shoot guns everyday. So because I'm not old enough to own a gun I'm not allowed to shoot one? Yeah ok.
mazio09210517 5
I'm an idiot? Really. It sounds to me like you're the idiot if you think you can base my intelligence off of a comment on fml.
buck33 14
Dude. Stop commenting. Seriously.
khaayotic 16
Your profile says you live in Vancouver, USA. ...what.
mazio09210517 5
dude. **** you. if I want to defend myself then I ******* will. You people bitch about everything! My comment sure whatever but my picture and my age? I can have a picture of the gun my Grandpa left me when he died of cancer 5 days ago if I ******* please! You intolerable pricks.
coolbrony12 3
Ha ur comment was moderated.
beckyxD 13
Vancouver, USA? as in (most likely) Vancouver, Washington?! Oh great...this idiot lives in my city -.-
ebonyirony 29
Do we have to tear this person apart?
pxndiieinsanity 6
I think they already have. Let's just hope he isn't emo and cut himself and blame it all on the "cyberbullying" he received on the Net. ...yep.
FirebirdF350 7
111, I don't understand why your being thumbed down, I agree, cyberbullying is, to me at least, bs, I was physically bullied early in school, and called a satanist because I wasn't christian, and honestly I don't equate any abuse this kid may claim he suffers from our comments to getting a couple right hooks to the temple, or having someone steal your possessions to taunt you, the internet last I checked is a media platform governed by those who use it, if you don't like what's on a site the simplest answer is don't use said site, like my house, if you don't like non christians, smoking, guns, don't pop by for visits. If that kid doesn't like our comments, don't comment, our don't read our replies, the blame is solely on his shoulders
Kiki242 19
That's one of the ultimate FMLs for a guy.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Yeah, but the guy who ripped his sack open still holds the title.
ydi_4_suking 20
that fml still gives me nightmares
23musiclover 3
That FML scarred me for life
JadeOmega 23
Or even for a girl! dude he said he cracked the BONE
kamikrazy 6
Ouch. I think I just felt it reading this.
Branflakes78 13
yea same here
babalooisbabaloo 5
How the hell does he shoulder you in the groin...
i_wuz_nver_here 31
The biggest lineman was actually only 3 feet tall
SkoomaKi 28
Does this remind anyone of American Pie with the little football midgets?
astralvagan 20
It's called dropping your shoulder.... Most high school and college players do it.
mal2012 4
How does he shoulder him in the groin? Its football!! They are doing everything. Btw. Sorry OP, def ultimate FML for a guy.
junkman6 22
I played football for ten years... And I was always a bit taller... And I still never got shouldered in the groin. What was OP trying to pull an ocho cinco and hurdle a 6 foot tall lineman?
klx125cross 9
There's a saying that goes along with football "lowest guy wins. Always. No exceptions."
EnigmaThe321 12
Wow OP, well at least now your future kids get to get in the action too! :D
kamikrazy 6
That's if he can still have kids...
PoseidonsSon 3
Nah, he'll be safe on that. If he wasn't wearing a cup? Then there'd be an issue.
Baconman345 9
Advantage: 15 yards for unnecessary roughness
ilovesarcasm 18
That sounds horrific, but at least the cup did its job and your twig and berries are in tact. I'm female, but I'm guessing a cracked pelvis would be better than popped balls.
Muffin_boo 12
Or a fractured "smurf like" bruised penis. :o
iXTMAstro 6
You can't fracture a penis.
MorganBrown 8
Sounds painful and I may be wrong for laughing at your comment but that's hilarious
little_one 20
Actually 58 you can... http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penile_fracture Yeah I'd be horrified too if I had a dick.
rallen719 3
Yes you can fracture a penis
TheApocalypse 5
Previous FML reference FTW.
I_lost_the_game 25
58- If you can break a dick, I'm pretty sure you can fracture one.
bjf10 22
The bone, or the boner?
onlychildFTW 34
I'm wondering the exact same thing too. I'm assuming the bone and not boner. But who knows!
klovemachine 24
I sure hope he didn't have a boner while playing football :O
SpokenReasons 0
there is no bone in the penis you and OP are a dumbass
onlychildFTW 34
Well boners can happen at the worst times with all that body stuff going on. Most of the time you can't help get one. Just happen randomly.
klx125cross 9
Yeah but he's wearing a cup... It wouldn't make a difference......
GodsLittleMistak 8
Ouch,at least you were wearing a protective cup though,it could have been /a lot/ more painful. Hope you feel better soon.