liu_kang
United States
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Bobby M
Ireland
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Anonymous
France
Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Jac
United States
Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
box bulge
China
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
pantyripper
Essendon, Australia
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Pain like no one has ever seen before
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
Anonymous
Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML
Matt988
India
Unexpected
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Pantess at work
United States
Ripper
Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML
Top comments
fml212121 0
schlong
Fedor_fml 0
Fatality!!!!!!!!!!!
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Comments (340)
akkimber 0
is a schlong a penis? if so you might need a new one bc pant zippers are relentless sons of bitches.
skid1996 0
what's shlong?
christianello 0
haha win
akkimber 0
YO DICK WAS OWNED!!! a nada bing a bada boom poor penis
MonsterFeet 0
the zipper as Scorpian: "GET OVER HERE!"
nomnommonster 0
haha that made me choke on my coke :D good deal, good deal.
tournamentdecide 33
That poor, poor schlong.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Neither. Chuck Norris wasn't involved, but he still claims victory!
Ajjas013 6
Until Jesus goes all 'I'm the son of God!' *something about beard* on his ass.
redbeater 5
WTF?
perdix 31
Neither. I don't believe that either a penis or a zipper can take a shit and not require toilet paper for a cleanup. Don't abuse the term Flawless Victory! If you cheapen it by overusing it, today's kids won't know how special one is if they are even lucky enough to have one.
AdoliscA1 0
I am glad I do not have a shlong!
nessalujin 0
Bada bing bada bang baby