Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML
Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML
Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML
Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
Today, after spending the past four days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law patted my head and said, "I'll go get some salt." FML
Today, my uncle called me at work, telling me to rush him to the doctor's. I get home and he doesn't"t want to go anywhere. He says he has the chills, so I turn on the furnace. Next he says he's too hot, and stripped to his underwear. I ask him to let me take him to doctor. He does nothing. Work is expecting me to bring a doctor's note tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
kaykay20 0
Guess you will be making the appointment yourself and taking a taxi?
Voldy_fml 16
Ice? Wow..Maybe ask your mom? Or a close FEMALE relative?
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Comments (138)
kaykay20 0
Guess you will be making the appointment yourself and taking a taxi?
coolboy675 16
That's such an ice thing he said to you. Take his advice
amyjadee 0
Was he right??
dirtroadboy 7
Your'e supposed to listen to your elders, but in tis case I don't reccomend it. Try talking to your mother?
BrickWalls 2
Yea! Old Dads that know it all! FTW PS: My dads like that too. Ex"Dad I got shot!!!, Put some duct tape on it itll be ok."
Armokir 1
You're kidding... I hope so...
boofgall 16
My dad too.. "buy you a swimsuit? Can't you just rent one from the pool?"
urdirtyolduncle 15
Atleast OP's ****** will be cool, just like the dad!
KissMyButtocks 6
Seems legit
kickboxingchick 5
19~ I doubt she has a mother..
alexicanaaa 7
She may not have a mother...
FinnishAmerican 3
Wow he doesn't know anything does he, tell him to F off
lovepotion75 4
Or.. He was just Saying No.. With a bit of humor..
ohmandapants 17
If you would tell your father to **** off just for saying that, there is something really wrong with you. Learn some respect.
chels1994 11
I hate when people say that they disrespect family members, especially parents or guardians, just to sound hardcore. Stop being a disrespectful jackass.
harshpatel009 4
Ice makes everything better
EatnBeef 7
What did you expect? I wouldsay the same. That's a mother daughter comvo not father daughter...
bamagrl410 31
Yea, unless her parents are divorced or for some reason her mother isn't around anymore. It's possible she passed away or has serious health or mental problems preventing her from being in the girl's life. Don't be so quick to judge, 115.
loller27 6
shove it up his
hugsandisses 6
Dick? No I don't think that's possible
Yak99 0
No as AVGN would say ASSSSSSSS
Voldy_fml 16
Ice? Wow..Maybe ask your mom? Or a close FEMALE relative?
MED_1984 7
Maybe they don't have a mom around and that's why she had to ask her dad...
dreamcatcher11 4
I'm sure the OP has other females in her life, a relative, health nurse at school etc?
lies_ah 3
47.... they also stated female relative !!!!!
InfiniteSunshine 32
Or how about the dad just grows up, actually takes some parental responsibility and helps his child. She shouldn't have to ask a female relative, a difference in sex shouldn't matter. Helping your kid, no matter problem, even when it comes to intimate areas when you're the opposite sex, is a parent's job. You can't avoid situations just because it's slightly embarrassing and out of your comfort zone. If you choose to become a parent, you signed up for caring for them regardless of the issue. Also, if we stopped treating this stuff like it's embarrassing and something we shouldn't discuss with the opposite sex, the stigma around it would go away.
yumgranolabar 5
That's just a little bit strange...
mismonroe 0
Tell him that that only works for NOTHING.
nslurve 4
Well... Did you put ice in your ******?
n_epic_fail 14
You just wanted to us the word ******...
tanneriscool 2
I have yet found a reason to say penis so.. Here it goes. Penis!! Sorry, I had to.
nslurve 4
You got me...
saranndipidy 0
judging by your screen name, I'd say it's a bladder infection. ask someone else to take you to the doctor. the only way to cure it is with antibiotics from the doctor.
parcan 11
And a lot of cranberry juice
Enslaved 38
Or it's a UTI. You're right, only antibiotics will cure those. Cranberry helps relieve the pain but won't cure it. (:
hugsandisses 6
No a UTI isn't cured by cranberry juice. When you go to he doctors and get antibiotics, your doctor tells you the only thing you can drink is cranberry juice.
CSC_fml 5
SEPTRA DS - that will cure your UTI.
TheDrifter 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
With a username of hurts to pee, I'd say it's more likely chlamydia, or syphilis, but telling people it's a uti isn't a bad idea for her reputation.
Katastrophe101 8
If your pee is light and cloudy along with the pain it's more than likely a UTI.
Ugi 27
UTIs certainly make it hurt to pee. Also tends to make you want to pee all the time although you should try not to as that makes the burning worse. I believe the pain from a UTI comes from the acid produced by the infecting bacteria. Some drinks, like orange juice, make that worse. Some, like cranberry and those sodium-citrate drinks you can buy, lower the acidity (increase pH) and relieve the symptoms but don't kill the bugs. If it's a burning pain and you feel like you need to pee a lot then you want some of those drinks in the meantime but they won't cure you. In any case, however, you do need to find your way to a doctor somehow. I'm afraid that if your mother can't help then you will have to convince Dad to take you seriously.
dumboears 8
It could also be a yeast infection which you can treat with stuff you buy at the pharmacy. But nonetheless, I doubt every single person commenting on here is a doctor, myself included, so you should figure a way to get to the doctor.
drooby 5
Talk about tryin to break the ice