Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed and took the pain medicine that the oral surgeon prescribed for me before bed. The pain actually did go away for the most part, until my stomach decided to betray me and make me throw up, forcing my jaw to open more than it could after surgery. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed. The surgeon took a better X-ray to see what he was dealing with before he got started. When he came back into the room, he started to laugh and told me it was my lucky day because in the X-rays he found 2 big extra wisdom teeth. FML
Today, I got a tooth pulled out. I now have a hole connecting my mouth to my nose. Drinking and eating is whole new experience. FML
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Top comments
Domonator 16
Yes, just open wide ... before you bite down.
Domonator 16
Actually, no sucking for him...
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Comments (199)
VanessaVander 2
wow sucks
subrosa1 0
Yes it does... hard. XD
rauj13 0
Can you say "Infection"? I doubt cum is a good thing to put on fresh wounds.
LTMcleod 0
I guess you could say her life sucks, literarly.
jamie_leeann23 0
what an ass.
schnitzel5 0
hahaha he is an ass
schnitzel5 0
you should be like a snake and unhinge you jaw
lady_lindsey 0
he's got his priorities straight!!! haha
sixtimessix 0
it sucks not all women are good at giving head.
Philosophic 0
Can I get a Zing! ?
mrbuddy 0
A post almost just like this was on a week or two ago! Boo!
icall_BS 0
So CAN you open wider, now? :)
dan13mey 0
well that shit hurts when you start gettin teeth involved! be considerate, open wider!
AndreaHaha 0
wow that sucks
ElegantSadist 0
she will when her mouth is better. or even before that
louis4_fml 0
this or a very similar one was posted a week ago or so. get a life if you have to copy others!!
ydiftw 0
YDI for having shoes.
Melkezidech 0
Tell him you'll swallow his when he swallows yours.
quikwit1212 0
To all folks saying it's a repeat, it is not. There was another one a while back with wisdom teeth and a boyfriend, but it didn't end like that at all.
metalhead256 0
lol now your rdvenge is to tease him but dont give him any if he's going to be a pig lol
srunano 4
@1 apparently It doesn't suck well enough
Emofluffinzhehe 0
lol ydi for havin a crap boyfriend.
hobosaresexy 0
everyones getting their wisdom teeth removed. i got mine a couple days ago. it's a pain in the ass.
alleyx3 0
this sounds just like the other one only he asked when the next time she could give a ******** would be...
JattPutt 0
Hmmm, I think I feel dejavu, or de ja vu, or dejavú... Oh wtf (I suck at spelling.)
marleytooyou 0
he was trying to get ur mind off of the pain
Rsok 0
yeah I remember reading it
jthottie 0
agreed ^^
MidgetMonster 0
op bf, not only an asshole, but a moron
stfubp 0
ok, wasn't there one just like this a couple weaks ago?
buttonface 0
Yeah, bud. Repeat. :/
Lozza111 0
I find it funny that like 5 people have repeated each other complaining about a repeat.
JRTheGreat 0
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!! That's ****** hilarious!
Crucifictorious 0
sounds like a legitimate question to me.
falluke17 0
to the people bitching about how there was a similar post a couple weeks ago... maybe some of us have lives and aren't on fml all day every day and read every post ever posted. thanks for your time.
StoryOfTheYear 15
^^^ pun of the day, yesterday
ashlynn610 12
thts terrible
afatmonkey 0
When my exneighbor had his wisdom teeth removed the painkillers made him really out of it and he went to a Waffle House. Unfortunatly, he ate one of their radiated waffles and grew another head which was constantly quoting Steven Wright. I believe he killed himself within 20 minutes.
ilikepie789 0
wow
xXSc3n1cXx 0
36 you need to see a psychiatrist. or however you spell it.
afatmonkey 0
haha, yeah, I'm a major schizofrenic. I hear voices and junk.
xXSc3n1cXx 0
lolz as do i. i call them nightmares. :p
Averizzle 0
I feel sympathy for you. Currently I am playing the world's smallest violin.
Cynical_AbInitio 0
"One night a couple was lying in bed. The husband was feeling frisky so he rolled over and tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says ‘I'm sorry honey, but I have a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.’ Rejected, the husband turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later he rolls over and whispers in her ear ‘Do you have a dentist appointment, too?’"
jonathangt21 0
ur beautiful
ashlynn610 12
who's beautiful? me? lol if it was to me then awh thanks!!! (:
crazytrick11 0
WTF?? ^^
ashlynn610 12
what is? lol I'm confused now
smartman136 8
54. W. T. F
louie111887 0
no no u are beautiful hehe
ashlynn610 12
I am SO confused... lol
crazytrick11 0
I said WTF cuz I was wondering y this dude was flirting on fml!!?? but it's ight cuz he is kinda cute too lol
ashlynn610 12
lol true dat true dat (:
crazytrick11 0
lol I no right!! he needs to take the glasses off though!!
ashlynn610 12
lol yupp yupp yupp!!! haha... (:
iamazzie 0
beautifulllllll lol thought I join in
ashlynn610 12
WTF who is beautifulllllll I'm so confused... Grrrrrrrr...
iamazzie 0
idk who everyone is talking about I was talking about u tho lol
ashlynn610 12
oh thanks (:
subrosa1 0
yes you are.
paigeatsflesh 11
I'm gonna marry afatmonkey one day.
paigeatsflesh 11
and I agree Ashely your pwetty:D
Emofluffinzhehe 0
supa bootiful X3
ashlynn610 12
OMG You guys are so nice (: lol...
ashlynn610 12
Paige you are very pretty too (:
paigeatsflesh 11
thank you:D haha
ashlynn610 12
hahh you're welcome (:
StoryOfTheYear 15
lol compliments galore on this fml :D mine as well add to it, both of you look pretty hot
paigeatsflesh 11
thanks!:D
ashlynn610 12
thanks (: StoryOfTheYear... You're pretty hot yourself!!! (:
Timeline 0
woah calm down this isn't a dating site
StoryOfTheYear 15
I'm going to make it one
ModernWarfare3_fml 0
157 party pooper. 158 ftw.
ashlynn610 12
lmaooo... you're funny... (:
StoryOfTheYear 15
I try, thx. (if that was intended for me) imma hit the hay, gn y'all
ashlynn610 12
goodnight (:
vergaso 0
why dont u guys flirt in real life not just behind ur computer all safe y todo u guys take up lik a page sayin the same shit over and over again
paigeatsflesh 11
you act like were all trying to go out. it's just a simple compliment. maybe if you had a picture you would get one too.
ashlynn610 12
lmao GO PAIGE (:
StoryOfTheYear 15
shut down :)
ashlynn610 12
hello (: lol
volleyballer127 0
maybe you will get more action?
scratchy209 0
omg I also can't open my mouth wider than 2 inches! sucks for my man ;)
Domonator 16
Actually, no sucking for him...
drewbell 0
haha win
xXSc3n1cXx 0
chances are, you dont NEED to open your mouth wider than 2 inches. ;).
vball_luvah 2
well that was probably how wide the OP's mouth opened before the wisdom teeth surgery (which is horrible, btw). so it's not a win or loss for the bf. but when I got my surgery I most definitely would have not wanted to suck on a dick.
tia73 0
lol what if sometimes it seems your mouth just ain't big enough or far enough back?
mama2b3 20
haha sounds like a reasonable question. Can you?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Were you the straight chick on the Tool Academy?
Jrook 0
yeah because removing teeth makes you able to open more.... how the hell does that make any sence?
crazytrick11 0
"sense" ^^
Jrook 0
for whatever Stupid reason i put "since" whenever I want "sense" .. pisses me off
ThatsMyHerpesBoy 0
gay......
Einstein714 0
mmmmm going down?
thatoneGeo 0
well? can you or not? answer the question women!
ModernWarfare3_fml 0
YDI for having an asshole boyriend.
BrookeTrueblood 0
Oh, come on. It's an honest question.
ModernWarfare3_fml 0
It's a funny one xP.
jakkanarchy 0
that would be a positive thing