Today, my landlord, due to a past of being an asshole and now enhanced with dementia, suddenly jumped down my throat for parking incorrectly in the driveway, because there's no room for their two cars. He hasn't had two cars in a year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after waiting two hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML
Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML
Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML
Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, my dad moved my car onto the street so he wouldn't accidentally back into it while moving our boat. My neighbor backed into it instead. FML
Today, while parking, I accidentally hit my landlord's daughter's brand new car. I made a huge dent in the side door. I thought nobody was home, so I quickly went to my room. Turns out they were having a barbecue outside and saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I was on my couch when my landlord walked in. He asked what I was doing there. I responded with the same question. Apparently my roommate forgot to call me and tell me that our lease ended three days ago. I am now standing in the parking lot with all my belongings, and it is raining. FML
Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML
Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
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Top comments
zuckerburg 21
sorry, but if you KNOW what/how to park there, why would you take advantage of the fact that he hasn't had two cars for over a year? someone is the asshole here, but it's not your landlord. Respect the rules. He probably had some visitors over that couldn't park there because someone else parked like a complete tool.
RichardPencil 32
Good thing you prepaid your rent for the year! Or that’s what you’d have him believe.
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Comments (6)
bloopaloop 27
Is the “jumping down your throat” how you pay the rent?
zuckerburg 21
sorry, but if you KNOW what/how to park there, why would you take advantage of the fact that he hasn't had two cars for over a year? someone is the asshole here, but it's not your landlord. Respect the rules. He probably had some visitors over that couldn't park there because someone else parked like a complete tool.
raven_of_azarath 35
It is also possible that the OP was not in the wrong at all and the landlord is just that crazy, as people with dementia tend to be.
caffeinecat 9
It's also possible that OP can't park, like the people at my complex who keep parking in my spot ><
Brian Brown_512904633 10
Just forget about him.....
RichardPencil 32
Good thing you prepaid your rent for the year! Or that’s what you’d have him believe.