Today, I was having my 9 year-old son help me find the TV remote. We were searching my bedroom when all the sudden my son says, “Look, mom it’s right here!” I turn around to see him pointing to where the remote was with my vibrator like a teacher pointing at a blackboard with a pointer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML
Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I had to take my eyes off my kid for a minute to respond to an important work email. I was about to click send when I heard a flushing sound and mad giggling. It was the TV remote. FML
Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
What kind of an example are you setting your kid/s when you tell them to put their toys away, but you don't follow your own rule?
RichardPencil 32
Well, vibrators are excellent for locating things that are hard to find. Like G-spots.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Well, vibrators are excellent for locating things that are hard to find. Like G-spots.
DoctorPALO 14
All. Of. A. Sudden.
BurnInDemonFire 39
What kind of an example are you setting your kid/s when you tell them to put their toys away, but you don't follow your own rule?
dasin 18
"see that remote? ya just stick it in"