Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
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Top comments
Dr_Phil 0
It sounds like you're bad in bed. I mean, the guy was drunk and still didn't enjoy it. Or maybe he's gay. One of the two.
vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0
He probably wanted a footjob
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Comments (44)
Tri_fml 5
Try doing something instead of just lying there and he won't get bored. I've given up due to boredom before, though at least I had the good grace to pretend I hurt my back :P
mizled 0
Get Kinky ;)
choppedNskrewed 0
hehehehe choppedNskrewed.....
kellster 2
He was probably too drunk to come and was embarrassed about it!
green_199 0
Tell all your girlfriends he has a really small penis, then sleep with his best friend.
ell3x0 0
he prolly wasnt feeling anything cas of how numb alch makes you
piderman13 0
you gotta get kinky cuz if your having sex the same way everytime, well hes drunk, he is on to new and better things every 10 seconds. you gotta go dick wild on him hahahaha
Roobydo 0
Listen, it's not that bad. Being a guy, i've been drunk before and been unable to finish for hours, and had to stop for sheer exhaustion, so it's probably not you. that is, if it WAS hours...
SgtSchadenfreude 0
He probably had a case of "Whiskey D*ck" and just didn't know how to articulate it properly at the time. #1. is right-on. Most men cannot perform well when they've been drinking to excess.
firedragon64 0
Hmmmm....sounds like either you are no fun in the sack i.e. "mattress ****", or he was really drunk...and you should ignore that because when you are drunk...sex is actually not as fun as you would think; especially since you are thinking "I wonder if she would have sex with me if we weren't drunk" the whole time lol...but since he is your boyfriend that is funny. Seriously though...I would inquire for a reason behind that...it is going to be interesting.