Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
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Top comments
Dr_Phil 0
It sounds like you're bad in bed. I mean, the guy was drunk and still didn't enjoy it. Or maybe he's gay. One of the two.
vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0
He probably wanted a footjob
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Comments (44)
butterflyhearts 0
OOORRR he finshed in her and doesnt want her to know. So by saying"im bored" was his oh so clever cover up of his not so clever mistake :P Just sayin because my boyfriend did that to me.
brunettesara5722 17
ydi for being boring in bed!
areanii 0
#17: That's what 'intimate' means dipshit. I'm 15 and I know this.
richieflow 3
Ur used up
kirstyannemiller 4
OWhat does inebriated mean?:Q
mashfan6507 17
Ydi for dating someone like that. Typical girl
MILF_SUZY 10
THE WAY WEED IS THESE DAYS CAN MAKE MEN NOT BE ABLE TO CUM IF SMOKE IT DAILY TOO. (AND MAKE MEN NOT GET HARD AND NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE BABIES) WOW . HOW MEN BLAME THE WOMAN FOR A MAN BEING A DICK AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PERFORM IN BED. IF YOU STOP DRINKING ALCOHOL AND SMOKING WEED YOU WILL HAVE MUCH BETTER SEX. BECAUSE YOU CAN FEEL THINGS 95% MORE. THOSE THINGS MAKE YOU NUMB. THIS IS CLASSIC BLAMING THE VICTIM.
_awwhellnaw_ 45
Don't have sex when drunk. It'll never turn out well.
Berber260 14
When you drink too much your senses get numb.it's not an FML for you. It's for him.