constantine
United States
Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Noname
United States
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Vicky
Carson City, United States
Welcome!
Today, I was showing my new boyfriend around my apartment. Everything was going great until my cat decided to make his grand entrance by vomiting directly on the rug in front of him. My boyfriend paused, then said, “Well, at least he’s honest about his feelings.” FML
Stupidhuman
Sparta, United States
Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML
f u stomach flu
Poway, United States
Touch me I'm sick
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Acne_problems
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
jlw1998
Dallas, United States
Sick move, bro
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Anonymous
Melbourne, Australia
Keep the peace
Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML
Anonymous
Bloomington, United States
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML
Sally
Pissed
Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML
Top comments
vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0
No offense, but that sounds a little needy.
Imdead 0
She's self absorbed and your just a pussy if you stay with her. She'll never ever meet your needs.
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Comments (30)
badonis 0
You need to find someone better than her, then.
vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0
No offense, but that sounds a little needy.
Imdead 0
She's self absorbed and your just a pussy if you stay with her. She'll never ever meet your needs.
Arcran5 0
hehe, pussy.
adameeo 21
Haha yeah
greenman_fml 0
puke on her carpet. apparently that's the way to get her attention
Mtti 0
kill her cat...that way the attention is focused on you.
unnecesarilythis 2
lets kill u
EvilLittleGirl 24
let's teach you this thing called humour.
CZWolf 0
I seem to be having the same problem lately. g/f more interested in her cats than anything else. Or her bike in my case.
QQ_fml 0
:/ man i hate life im with you on this one
Sipos 0
What a moron. You should dump her.
itybitykity 0
That not feeling wanted shit is what caused me to cheat. Not saying I was in the right, but its not a fun feeling. :/ I'm sorry.
chewyca99 14
You are awful person :)
podrummer9209 0
Bleh. My most recent ex told me repeatedly she still loves a guy she dated just before me. I told her multiple times to not tell me about it. When we broke up, she waited a day and ****** him. I sent the guy a message saying I had AIDS >=] I don't, but he doesn't know that. Her mom also got an anonymous tip that she's dating this kid (She hated him). They're no longer dating. ^_^
40ozToFreedom 0
ha you're such a bitter little ******
skreech96 0
haha your such a poser, I can tell by your profile pic you little bitch
Lemon_Lime888 0
We don't need your life story there bud!
RebeccaRFT 18
Okay- sorry, but you're an ass. You had absolutely no business in her love life and you ruined a potentially good life partner.