Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML
Today, after moving in with a friend I've known for 9 years, I found out he's going to jail soon, and refuses to work or get a new job, making me unable to pay rent as he eats all my food. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Today, my roommate and I had to pay our first installment of rent. He's nowhere to be found. FML
Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML
Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML
Today, I texted my flatmate to ask him when he would be paying his portion of the rent, since he has told me he would be late this month. He wrote back to inform me that he had moved out last night while I was away, and that he won't be paying me anything. FML
Today, after I've been cleaning a hostel 7/7 for free accommodation for a few weeks, and the owner telling me 3 times to take a day off while he was able to do the job, I'm finally leaving. He's now (and only now) asking me to pay for the 3 nights I "didn't work for." FML
Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML
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Top comments
groupleader 7
Yes a bike job is also known as a bj.
I_Punch_Babies 7
you already know his weakness is the refrigerator. dont go grocery shopping and just get.a days worth of food each time you go out. thatll force him to get a real job.
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Comments (81)
KatieKupcake4195 9
Well, he's trying.. Maybe. Still, that doesn't sound like it pays enough for rent. FYL, OP.
Bravesfan319 11
Fixing one bike is trying? Kinda just seems like a lazy roommate who OP needs to kick out.
KatieKupcake4195 9
Perhaps you're right. But at least OP's roommate didn't just flat out say "No." and carry on doing literally nothing :)
Bravesfan319 11
Unless it was a motorcycle or dirt bike (which I highly doubt), then I'm guessing it didn't take the roommate more than 15-30 minutes... Max. So it's pretty much like he didn't try lol
ucoolgirl31 20
How much is he getting paid??
KatieKupcake4195 9
17 - True. I was just trying to give the roommate the benefit of the doubt. Something I find myself doing quite often. I apologize for my stupidity lol
CALLAHAN4 0
he tolled u hard
TehBoulder 4
How much did he get?
SecretMe00 5
Sounds like a low-life.
Il_Maestro 6
He got a shiny new nickel, a free months rent from OPs good nature, and a half a turkey sandwich.
ladyLALAA 29
I hope it was some ten year old who gave him $5.
I_Punch_Babies 7
i bet he paid him in gum.
xcarxcrashx 9
No one ever pays me in gum :(
ladyLALAA 29
19, that's because you ate their brains!
ICastillo 25
Kill it, kill it now with fire!!!!!
groupleader 7
Yes a bike job is also known as a bj.
lonkite101 14
I'd love to give bjs for a living.... If I was a girl!
reddudeover 2
35 - So what's your excuse for giving them now? And at only a dollar a piece it's such a deal.
COOL__Coal 12
He definitely sounds almost as much if a freeloader as squdward.
asticks 4
That would have been funny if you hadn't misspelt squidward.
nofearjenshere 12
I'm Squidward, I'm Squidward, I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward!
ohSNAPyall 27
How is Squidward a freeloader? He has his own house!
fadingfaith 4
I think you meant Mr. Krabs.
Soloman212 28
I think they were referring to the episode where Squidward loses his job because Mr. Krabs thought he stole his first dime.
IcedJesus 5
Racking the bills!!
Branflakes78 13
more like Racking the Quarters
narkui 10
Threaten to kick him out of he doesn't get his act together. That's sucks tho. GL!:)
theunwiseone 4
He has to start from somewhere ;)
I_Punch_Babies 7
you already know his weakness is the refrigerator. dont go grocery shopping and just get.a days worth of food each time you go out. thatll force him to get a real job.
caplox 6
OP shouldn't have to limit their groceries because of a lazy roommate.
I_Punch_Babies 7
OP also shouldnt have to share food with a lazy bum either.
caplox 6
Who says he has to? I say put a lock on it!
peachesncreem 21
#12, please don't punch babies :(
I_Punch_Babies 7
it was either punch babies or kick puppies. the former seemed funnier. then again my dark sense of humor is such that only a select few are desensitized to the point that to them it can be allowed to be funny.