Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
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Top comments
Youtube00 5
mommy, where the **** is my milk?
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
Did you tell them to stop swearing in front of your kid? why wouldn't you take your kid in a different room?
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Comments (139)
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
Did you tell them to stop swearing in front of your kid? why wouldn't you take your kid in a different room?
pertained 12
well, maybe OP wasn't psychic and after they said it once, the kid picked it up?
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
I never said op was psychic. What I am saying is if Op kept hearing them swear she should have either told them to stop or brought her son into a different room
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
You are right thought bout the kid picking it up after hearing it once. Children can pick vocabulary up very quickly
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
though*
daviesha 0
Children pick things up very fast my aunt told my uncle to get his shit out of the way that's all I said for a week when something/one was in my way. As for taking them to another room, maybe they were eating supper and that wasn't an option or they were being so loud and said it so often it wouldn't have mattered if they were in a different room
daviesha 0
Children pick things up very fast my aunt told my uncle to get his shit out of the way that's all I said for a week when something/one was in my way. As for taking them to another room, maybe they were eating supper and that wasn't an option or they were being so loud and said it so often it wouldn't have mattered if they were in a different room
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
You're right. it could have been a situation where that was not an option. It was just an idea
Moiety 10
Working in a pre-school I know this is true, I'm lucky I haven't accidentally said a bad word when they've heard it! I usually try to swallow the bad words trying to come out when I hurt myself on something..
alpaquette91 9
I promise I'm not saying anything is wrong with the comments, or commenters. I just feel like I'm reading a parenting magazine entry. I love it!
daisyloo 7
^I know right:D
NavySEAL13 0
**** ya go navy teach the kid some new words
Thunderbender 2
Awww he's destined to be a Navy man. :)
Slythrr 0
nice job being a mother and not able to shut your two year old stop cussing. doing a great job as a parent smh
Friaza 29
#4 won.
toqwert 0
Ehhhh, this isn't that bad, but you have got to get your ******* kid to ******* stop with ******* saying **** god-*******-damnit...! :D no offense to the ******* mom.
toqwert 0
91 are you actually a SEAL? How was training? I'm thinking bout signing up.
Youtube00 5
mommy, where the **** is my milk?
DropDead77 11
Hopefully that's the only Navy stereotype put to rest amongst your husband and his sailor buddies
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
make him say "firefuck" lol!
Keyman1212 14
I'm frankly offended that she thinks this confirms a stereotype, that's like me saying "oh black people only like fried chicken and watermelon because I saw some eating that one day" I'd say something more, but it would offend tons of people, like I'm offended by this post. I'm in the Navy and I don't swear particularly that much, and I don't know too many guys I work with who do. The Navy is a professional environment, and what people say when they are on leave does NOT reflect on the entire Fleet. My two cents.
Keyman1212 14
And as for all the stereotypical "gay" comments, grow the **** up. I enjoy slaying poon on the regular, not some dude's ass.
idspud 3
yea I'm an engineman in the navy and I don't swear and I'm definantly not gay
idspud 3
yea I'm an engineman in the navy and I don't swear and I'm definantly not gay
roger507 0
definantly? huh!
iPoopMusic 0
Man, if you guys were in the navy, why are whining like little bitches?
Keyman1212 14
73- Were? Try am. It's the Internet so there's no use arguing but I can tell that you will NEVER have what it takes to defend this great country.
sonic19951 6
a country built on hate, betrayl, threats, and lies. yes. what an honor it is to protect this "great" country of ours.
Keyman1212 14
If you don't like it, leave it.
NastyNinja31 0
that little focker
kcircuses 1
50-fag
hollowgirl6 0
mother trucker! XD
ILoveEggnog 7
I thought this was going somewhere else. Buttpirates. cough cough
DKjazz 20
Aspiration=ass piration
thelastlucifer 17
major failure on mom's part
thetrollyoulike 6
nope that's daddy's sorry
DKjazz 20
His first word! Aw.
Dr_Jalepenos 0
watch how the dad will blame u later for it..... well hope he stops
kingtz 6
Aww... I think that is actually kinda cute!
redbluegreen 41
Don't be so ******* sensitive, OP. Let the ******* child ******* swear if he wants to, for ****'s sake.
mchakkiwala 0
where do you get the swearing inspiration from?
j_cat187 20
shut ur dirty ******* mouth :D
el_paso_guy89 0
what the ****?! can't you ******* take your swearing somewhere else? ****... •_•
Asystole 0
awwww how precious!
codybookmiller 0
What tha **** happened to your face man
Casuality 6
Maybe he'll grow up to be a sailor. Like his daddy. :)
lucy9897 6
If anyone asks, you can tell them he is actually saying 'duck' and yell at them for having a twisted mind. ;)
wolflover44 5
That's actually genius... I might have to try that one day in school... Haha
iChel413 6
lol I wouldn't think of that.
pink_raindrops 26
I knew a little kid who had trouble saying the letter L in words so every time he tried to say clock he would say **** nice and loud.
ImTheAlpha 30
I've known several little kids that if they tried to say sit, they would accidentally say shit.