Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
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Top comments
A7X_LoVeee 10
He's gotta stay entertained somehow
nixter5 18
Talk about dropping bombs....
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Comments (210)
A7X_LoVeee 10
He's gotta stay entertained somehow
TruthBeTold36 3
Nothing wrong with a nice game of battle *****.
F2M2L 5
well hey, at least he isnt constipated.
UN1T3D 6
actually, constipation = machine gun.
AnonymousTroll 2
No, pellets=machine gun, constipation=misfire
andreafml2011 0
he's a keeper! (: what's his name? bahahaha
icecreamdriveby 5
Clearly he's a bit embarrassed of you overhearing him taking a shit so he tries to cover it up. Give him a break..
diceplaya 12
He does have to stay entertained somehow... I for one read and comment on FML..
juicedboi 7
I see absolutely no issue with that. Reading FML also works to keep you entertained. Yeah thats right, imagine me on the pooper.. You sick perverted monster.
fanceh 10
I bring my phone and I read fml's while on the toilet. haha.
A7X_LoVeee 10
I'm pretty sure many others do too. Facebookin' while on the pot.
Tjack_atack 0
I'm on the toilet right now too
OWNZ 0
He's playing battleshit!
rallets 23
he is one sick puppy
HolyHandGrenade 4
OP, have you even considered resupplying him? He might be losing and in desperate need of supplies!
htb2050 11
he plays it after finishing a game of angry birds.
Snowstar 0
I goddamn LOVE that song. GO 30STM!
scrapmetal58 9
You sank my Battleshit.
scrapmetal58 9
I saw. It was a reply to his but thanks for your concern.
Tommananaze6T9 4
really cuz i go on here when my poops get boring.yea thats right guess what im doing rite now
jjstock 7
I thought of war by lecrae but its probably not that song lol
metallica_wins 20
Reading this FML today, I immediately thought of the new A7X song "This Means War." And who was the first commenter? An A7X lover.
Cryingraven 1
beware the ass tanks!!!!!
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha, what is he a Vietnam veteran?
koe4 0
are you familiar with battleshit?
jordankeener 0
you have a gay pic
InstantRanbowMix 0
Iran isn't the only one dropping bombs
nixter5 18
Talk about dropping bombs....
tynickd 0
WIN!!^^
wilesmoods1 0
No.
daisyloo 7
Haha, nice 3:)
ryanst 7
"Get down the chocolate rain is coming!!!" "Private Schit get inside!! It's raining Schit, it's raining!!!" *boom*
nixter5 18
chocolate rain....some stay dry while others feel the pain xD
Im_a_GOAT 8
looks like you're stuck in a shitty situation...
kilo4321 1
seriously that comment is getting ****** old!
thepicoeater 1
^your pic is hot.
Tjack_atack 0
^ your pic is not
Glitterhinoceros 14
Agreed and Agreed
tuba_erika 1
lmao that made my day!!
wilesmoods1 0
So true, 75
gurpreet 5
how old is he :/
whippymcdumb4zs 0
it doesn't matter how old he is, the fact he's listening to that song while ******** (which by the way is a good song to shit to lol) is amazing in and of itself.
whippymcdumb4zs 0
unless it's the 30 seconds to mars song... then we've got a problem...
pinkpolarbear 8
102, i think it is the 30 seconds to mars song, which is AMAZING!!!!!
whippymcdumb4zs 0
I prefer ill niños "this is war."
whippymcdumb4zs 0
but then again I am now and forever will be a metal head.
dirtbiker267 0
That is a really good song(:
1215116a 14
Talented!
MsMillie 0
This is honestly not that bad! I feel like tagging #firstworldproblems on the end if that! lol
GabbyCharityM 0
Dipshit this isn't twitter.
spencerstoaker 7
Well, that's one way to entertain yourself while doing your business. Some people read magazines, he does this. I don't really see the Fml in this Op :)
Madiluvsyuh98 2
lovely
niceNnerdy 5
Remind him about the treaty of no nuking during wars ..