Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML
Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML
Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Ohhh she's going to **** you up. Teaching a little kid words like that, how ******* dare you?
juturnaamo 29
Accidentally stub your toe. Say Grosh! Or something equally silly. Act stunned and say 'Please don't tell your mom I said Grosh! Im in so much Groshing trouble...'
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Comments (108)
Doortje 30
Ohhh she's going to **** you up. Teaching a little kid words like that, how ******* dare you?
indielove 13
You are so ******.
hockey199813 5
Listen it ******
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Well ****, I guess that means you won't be getting paid.
dre_bro11 12
Stop ******* swearing.
Jammy01jams 2
Omg stop saying the **** word!
max_wilder 9
Its not really that big of a deal, she won't care that muc it's not like you said it to him directly
Jovecove 13
'Hi mommy, **** you!'
AnonymousTroll 2
What the **** is ******* wrong with saying **** all ******* day?
firecopy 6
fuckity, shit, shit, **** and willy. Willy, shit and **** and... ****.
Rvah07 0
Just say that ur neighbor cut herself slicing bread or something creative like that, either that or wash his mouth out with soap...
alexiiiis09 0
You better watch your ******* mouth!
firecopy 6
Kings Speech anyone?
nuggin0917 1
Youre ****** up
Iheartfunny 1
1 I was going to thub up your comment but it had 69 thumbs so i couldnt break the chain. Also OP its you own damn fault
lolx7 5
guys.. come on saying **** is really getting on my ******* nerves so shut the **** up!
v3nomously 0
....mom walks in. Aww ****!!
dre_bro11 12
79, you were a little kid once.
divine69 0
78 - we can tell :/
dre_bro11 12
78*
alexisssssssss 0
48- you ******* ruined it!
yamatelle 19
Oh, you're ******. Watch his mom come and he screams, "I doo-doo my pants! ****!" Pray that the dad curses also and she might blame it on him, like they always do.
Notimetobleed 14
"Mommy, you finally ******* came to take me home! Where the **** were you?"
perdix 31
Let him shit on the couch and then he'll calm the **** down.
numbers878 8
How does ******** on a couch calm you?
perdix 31
Try it, you'll see. Also, look around and see if you can find a relevant reference. It's much easier than Where's Waldo.
fml_ydi79 15
4- I see what you did there lol FML
fml_ydi79 15
Half my comment is missing, so I understand the thumbs down... :)
RedPillSucks 33
Previous FML reference FTW
fml_ydi79 15
That's actually what I wanted to say 45 but it didn't post for some reason
denvan 0
A kids brain is like a sponge, you're ****** up the ass and all ways. No more babysitting for you
divine69 0
F is also for fail
juturnaamo 29
Accidentally stub your toe. Say Grosh! Or something equally silly. Act stunned and say 'Please don't tell your mom I said Grosh! Im in so much Groshing trouble...'
MyPerspective 4
True. Reverse psychology. It will work.;)
THE_A_TEEN 28
There's only one thing left to do, tie him to a chair, keep his eyes open and put on all kid show ep's about "swearing is bad". Once mommy gets home, pretend like nothing happened. Or else you **** fuckety ****** ****** ******...
newzealand 28
Time it right, and as the mum comes home pretend to be teaching him how to say "truck". My sister had to be trained to say 'Lorry' instead.
margie4peace 11
Another great idea, as long as he doesn't already know the word Truck. Probably does.
NoNotTheFace 8
So how's my little baby doing today? Aww **** mommy I think I did a ******* dooty.
miserypoison 13
Just say TV said it.
goobergirlie 5
Tv doesn't say ****. Not allowed. And any show that would comes on late night HBO ****, which he shouldn't be watching anyways.
yamatelle 19
16-TV doesn't say ****? You obviously haven't seen True Blood. Or Family Guy.
anorexicbarbie 8
22 Usually the F word is censored on cable tv. True blood though is on showtime, I believe, so I don't think the F word is censored there.
goobergirlie 5
22- true blood is on Showtime, which is like HBO. And it's something that child shouldnt be watching.
goobergirlie 5
And last I checked when they play south park and family guy on cable they censor the f word. They wouldn't censor on the DVD, but on comedy central and tbs they would.
lifesuxalways12 0
True blood actually shows ppl ******* sooo.....
KennyMcCrmick322 0
That wouldn't work cuz idk many parents that want there kid watching Southpark, family guy, or shows like that
ChrisTheCalm 9
Yeah, you do watch tv?