Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML
Today, I was babysitting my four year-old cousin when she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, and she responded, “Oh. That makes sense.” I’ve been emotionally defeated by someone whose favorite word is “poop.” FML
Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
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Top comments
Darebearius 7
That is an extremely immature and irresponsible thing to do. You can do that shit around your own kids all you want, but doing that around other people's kids is a huge no-no. YDI through and through.
John Nemeth 14
Mr. Krabs “Yes sir.... that is bad word number 11, In fact, there are 13 words you should never use” Squidward “Don't you mean seven?” Mr. Krabs “Not if you're a sailor”
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Comments (15)
Darebearius 7
That is an extremely immature and irresponsible thing to do. You can do that shit around your own kids all you want, but doing that around other people's kids is a huge no-no. YDI through and through.
John Nemeth 14
Mr. Krabs “Yes sir.... that is bad word number 11, In fact, there are 13 words you should never use” Squidward “Don't you mean seven?” Mr. Krabs “Not if you're a sailor”
RichardPencil 32
My first word guesses are: 1) **** 2) Asshole 3) Shit My who won’t be invited guesses are: 1) Snooki 2) Shinzo Abe 3) LeBron James When are you announcing the winner? What’s the grand prize (please say, “Instant Pot.”)?
power_in_the_now 19
Being ONE and NOT talking... hmm... that doesn’t seem likely and the OP And his friend are idiots to think a ONE year old wouldn’t repeat what was heard
Hempseed 27
Please don't breed.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
"We thought it would be funny to use curse words in front of him-" Yeah, that's when I clicked YDI.
MidnaLink 35
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You’re a complete dipshit, and that’s even what would be acceptable to say in front of Her Majesty, compared to how idiotic I think you and your friend were.
julfunky 29
Why would it be funny?
dasin 18
i think its pretty funny. now there a fml where everyone calls op stupid, hilarious!
WeirdUS 30
Really immature. You deserve it for sure. With maturity like that I'm sure they are just beating down your door.
AmbrosiaFan 19
YDI... it's one thing if it was an accidental swear, but to purposefully say it thinking it won't be repeated?