Today, my husband told me to stop faking being sick, because, "morning sickness doesn't happen after noon." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Hilarious
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Get on with it
Today, I'm pregnant and feeling awful due to all-day-long morning sickness. My doctor suggested that I cancel all my social plans to be able to keep working. My doctor is also my husband, and the father of this child. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Red flag
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Grumpy git
Today, my husband told me that he thinks I'm not doing real work because I laugh during online meetings. Sorry I'm not miserable all the time. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Go to school!
Today, I told my dad I wasn’t feeling well, to which his response was to interrupt me and say, “Nope. Not buying it.” I have never faked an illness in my life, and this time I vomited in front of my entire class. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
This good enough for ya?
Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML
Top comments
eliwalks 0
Haha what a dumbass
ThatGuyRory 9
This is why we use Google before making such statements.
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Comments (203)
eliwalks 0
Haha what a dumbass
notjustanybody20 9
& you're carrying this dumbass' baby! poor you! your kinds probably arnt going to be very smart either...
brianjman14 23
God, the irony here is just laughable.
notjustanybody20 9
*kids
brianjman14 23
*And *aren't And you forgot to capitalize at the beginning of a new sentence.
Archon 7
OP just tell the dumbass you have noon sickness in the afternoon, and morning sickness in the morning. His stupidity level is probably high enough to buy it.
notjustanybody20 9
capitalise?!!! dude please get a life. dont you have better things to do in life?! it wasn't a ******* college essay. as a matter of fact, i do belong to england. so i have fairly good knowledge of the language. its human to make mistakes as you type sometimes
starman02 12
He's not a dumbass just misinformed.. It's surprising how many men and women think morning sickness only happens in the morning.
brianjman14 23
Hahaha, umad? Anyway, I realize that I was being an ass and I apologize, but all I'm saying is that if you're going to call someone stupid, at least be able to type a normal sentence or else it looks ironic. And since you asked so nicely, I'm actually just in a car driving back from an hour and a half trip so no, I don't have anything better to do right now.
RedPillSucks 33
@44... Sigh... Belong to england? They did outlaw slavery in the 1820's right (History Nazi's attack!)
Discombobulated9 12
44- Being English doesn't make you any better at spelling and grammar. The fact that you would even use that as self defence made me cringe inside.
murdersquirrel 15
You don't need to be writing a college essay to use proper grammar. English class is meant to prepare you to use proper grammar in every day communication.
Llama_Face89 34
44- If you don't use proper grammar in your everyday life, you're more likely to slip up when it matters most.
ALpein 0
When did writing properly become tedious?
wlddog 14
Being able to communicate is a practiced skill. If you practice to fail you will always fail. If you practice to succeed you will get better with time.
_Oblivion_ 12
I can really give a flying **** if you are english. If you are going to make a legitimate comment about stupidity, at least make it legible. No one likes to see some idiot running around fml pissing everyone off with their shitty grammar. I didn't look but you must be new, as your attempt to revolt against some 12k grammar nazis didn't turn out too good.
Llamacod 11
"I belong to England" lol wtf
ladyLALAA 29
Had to put my two cents in on this one... 44, I also hate Grammar Nazis but the only thing WORSE is people like you who call someone a dumb-ass and spell it all wrong. Digging yourself a deep grave by fighting it!
ladyLALAA 29
*put. Can't edit in my phone sorry guys.
SmeXikoE 3
44- Love the last part of your "About Me" you recently updated. Let us know if you want another Life Lesson.
Heinousness 0
Used to think the same thing, OP's husband. But then I turned 6 and my mom became pregnant.
IronicIrony 8
Hey everyone. I love irony and ironic things. Goodbye.
gabrielle01 0
Little girl. Grow up actually go to English class. And maybe move away from England, i hate your stupidity, rudeness and don't be rude about other peoples kids. Having kids involves a guy. Good luck with that.
thelastavailable 13
You "belong to England".. what does that mean? Anyway, what he's saying is that if you're going to comment on someone's apparent lack of intelligence, at least write properly.
The_Hitdude 12
Okay guys, I think (hope) she got it the first ten times someone grilled her. Yes, she made some ignorant statements, but now you're just shooting a dead animal. It's done. Finished. Over. Carry on with your days.
Feared 9
145- your a dum ass. its funny how they does it.
twistedlovex 0
I belong to Germany what does that make me naturally amazing at?
KeyboardWarrior 10
Being a grammar nazi! No? Okay.
Angitia 8
50, no starting sentences with 'and'.
maronofhearts 19
Well technically morning sickness is in the morning but there's no reason why you can't get sick for many reasons during the day. Like from a smell or sight or just nothing
keenflow 2
137- couldn't have said it better myself lol.
spekledworf 18
44 is new here... She'll learn soon.... soon
eliwalks 0
Your grammar is horrible..true story
SantaBaby93 5
You spelled capitalize wrong.
trivel64 16
the sad thing is, i thought the same thing
ThatGuyRory 9
This is why we use Google before making such statements.
Idonebeenhad 17
Or common sense.
SkoomaKi 28
Or sex education.
whitekid1497 7
Or a brain
JoeSaysSsso 2
or a dictionary.
Cad6 24
Or flying monkeys.
LoveMay 10
Or Chuck Norris
musicLord 0
Or the magical Midgets that live In my closet.
The_Hitdude 12
Or the children I lock in my basement. Too much?
GawdamitNappa 4
.....combo breaker?
kateRAWR 4
Or people
bertman21 5
Or Obama
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8
Nobody likes a combo breaker. Or at least I don't.
GothicAngel17 24
^ combo breaker.
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8
LOL I didn't notice that until you pointed it out xD
musicLord 0
I thought it was funny. Someone had to do it
DomDomxoxo 16
Guys don't get informed enough when it comes to their partners' pregnancy.
PrincessPesa 20
Maybe not, but nowadays there are so many books written specifically for fathers-to-be. There's no excuse for being totally uneducated. There's even a "Dad's Guide to Pregnancy for Dummies"! - which sounds perfect for OP's dopey husband.
siickman 7
Yea but its just common sense... I mean i can understand why girls would be faking it and over dramatic but like srsly he just has to be understanding ...
siickman 7
Btw im not stating OP was faking it.. Just saying i would understand if a girl was faking it
Llama_Face89 34
Even if she is faking (unlikely. Somehow I don't think her body cares if it's called "morning" sickness) your woman is pregnant. You damn well better suck it up and pamper the shit outa her.
Llamacod 11
Siickman, do you not know how to spell seriously? You use normal spelling all the way through except that.
texashater75 16
#57, do you have a lot of experience with woman faking things?
MissHayleyJames 7
75, where are the rest of the men like you?
ninjadinos 14
Okay... Then tell him you have afternoon sickness... Or just throw up everywhere and make him clean it.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Make him? Sorry to say, NOBODY could ever "make" me clean vomit. Nobody.
ninjadinos 14
Even your sick pregnant wife? :(
liindsey 25
#8 - You'd make an awful parent if you wouldn't help your sick, vomiting child.
Archon 7
#31 that's assuming he's going to have children.
KeyboardWarrior 10
I'm not near ready to be a parent. I know that. Vomit is disgusting though. I would clean my child's vomit, and yes I would help out my pregnant wife. But the way this comment is worded makes it seem so forceful. I'd be willing to clean up after my wife out of kindness (and hopefully love), but I hate being forced. So sorry if I came (or am coming) off as an asshole, it's just how I am.
ninjadinos 14
Yes, I would shove his head in the vomit and sit on him until he cleaned it up. I suppose that's a tad bit forceful, but it could be worse, right?
RedPillSucks 33
That would be the only way he would realize it's not being faked.
Llamacod 11
I don't think I would ever want to go to keyboardwarriors house if he ever has children, there would be vomit rotting on the floor from when his kids threw up as kbw would never clean it
KeyboardWarrior 10
Are you illiterate? Did you not read my second comment? Well, whatever, I wouldn't want you at my house anyways!
The_Hitdude 12
tyler7891: With that kind of ignorant attitude, you're buying yourself a one way ticket to 60-year-old-virgin Land. And considering you're new, you're not doing much for your reputation either.
yumgranolabar 5
Why would anyone "fake" vomit??
SkoomaKi 28
To miss school, to avoid church, to not socialize with friends, to stay off work, to get attention, to get thinner (bulimic), to stay at home, to avoid going shopping with parents, etc. The list goes on...
yumgranolabar 5
Point taken. You win this round!
DomDomxoxo 16
When I was pregnant I had morning sickness but i didn't vomit, I just felt sick.
ninjadinos 14
15- yes, but typically people can't vomit on command. So if ops husband saw her throw up, that should prove she wasn't faking..
SkoomaKi 28
27 - if you strategically place your fingers at the back of your throat, you could pull it off. How you could do that strategically, I do not know...
French_Toast_fml 3
15- People with bulimia do not fake vomit. They vomit for real.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
@ #30 - That's not "fake" vomiting. That causes you to REALLY vomit. Putting a can of cream of chicken in the toilet and sitting there moaning and gagging is "fake vomiting."
Feklfekl2222 32
I can stick my fingers down my throat and not vomit, so that method isn't very reliable
Llama_Face89 34
165- fingers...right...
xInwex 12
What an ass >:(
unluckiestperson_fml 14
How can you fake being sick?! Surely your vomit proves that you're not faking?
OnceuponAtime33 0
Theres plenty of ways to fake being sick.
littlemsweirdo 12
He needs a high five...in the face...with a chair. Lol, what a dumbass...
rattusrattus 19
High-five him in the face with a medical textbook. It's lighter, so you can get more momentum, and the mass is more compact, so more force will go in his face. I recommend the Merck Manual.
ladyLALAA 29
I would beat him with a phone book, apparently that's what police do to prisoners because they don't leave marks!
MissHayleyJames 7
Merck anything Manuals (I have the Vet Manual) are deadly weapons. I also recommend them!
challan 19
Tell him it will be easier for you to stop faking orgasms.
crammer1 6
This comment made my freaking day! Oh so true! Lol
Life_is_FML 22
WIN
RoseCrystal 17
Throw that book, "What to expect when you're expecting" at his head, hard.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Perhaps throw it when he least expects it? Lol