Maiar
Winnipeg, Canada
Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Lenore
Setup
Today, I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. My husband said we should “adapt, not panic” and brought lubricant from the garage. It had a skull warning on it. Apparently I married an engineer. FML
nicole
Reserved
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Toothy
United States
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML
smf_ds
Rebordosa, Portugal
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
Anonymous
Princeton, United States
Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard brush. Just last week I swore that I never touch it. FML
Anonymous
This is us
Today, my husband asked me to check his asshole to see if his haemorrhoid had grown any bigger. This is my life now, all romance gone, and having to check his hairy ringpiece every day, and our kids wonder why I drink before I can fall asleep. FML
peachezthelette
Itchy butt
Today, while at work, I had to explain over the phone to my 33-year-old boyfriend how to use Preparation H. FML
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Anonymous
Itchy and scratchy
Today, I finally forced my husband to go to the doctor's for his chronically itchy arsehole, which he scratches in his sleep, and ends up bleeding all over the sheets. Turns out it’s a fungal infection. Now he has to apply a cream twice a day, which isn’t fun to watch when he does it in the bedroom. FML
Top comments
lvg_fml 10
How old is this man? He needs to learn how to communicate appropriately
harrison99 4
Hope you too MAKE UP! All crappy puns aside I'm sorry about that :(
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Comments (103)
BoredDownUnder 11
At least it'll reduce the bags under your eyes...
FeelingIT 10
If you removed the butt germs from the equation, this wouldn't be so bad; hemorrhoid cream is frequently used by makeup artists to reduce swelling in places such as the under-eye area. The more you know...
FeelingIT 10
Sorry for the repetition!! Dang, gotta look before I leap!
thejonac 21
that was really low
Royal_Society 5
omfg thts ****** up I'm so sorry tht he does tht you deserve better. Tht was very immature of him.
clair_brodie 35
They say it is good for preventing under eye bags and wrinkles so in reality he is actually helping you =)
KrDizzy 16
Stick his toothbrush up your ass.
Badkarma4u 17
No, dont be passive ageessive, just walk up to him grab him by his dangly bits and tell him if he ever does that again hes going to know what bubble wrap feels like.
Badkarma4u 17
No dont be passive agressive. Simply walk up, grab him by his dangly bits and tell him if he ever does that again he's going to know what bubble wrap feels like
shitcreeksurvr 13
You didn't notice your sponge smelled like ass?
Badkarma4u 17
Thats way too passive agressive. Not a very manly way to handle a problem. He sounds like a wuss. Sorry op.
thetancarkid 8
Wow now that is childish
DrHothead 15
Shitfaced