Today, I finally forced my husband to go to the doctor's for his chronically itchy arsehole, which he scratches in his sleep, and ends up bleeding all over the sheets. Turns out it’s a fungal infection. Now he has to apply a cream twice a day, which isn’t fun to watch when he does it in the bedroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband asked me to check his asshole to see if his haemorrhoid had grown any bigger. This is my life now, all romance gone, and having to check his hairy ringpiece every day, and our kids wonder why I drink before I can fall asleep. FML
Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my wife frantically saying something about her having scabies, and that I had to take her to the ER. It turned out to be eczema. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
Today, I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a yeast infection. It’s been 3 hours since I’ve been home and my husband won’t stop referring to me as "cheddar puss". FML
Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML
Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
Today, my husband asked me to wax his ass crack for him. It might have been funny or maybe even a kinky experience a few years ago, but now I had to navigate the wax around his haemorrhoid, which did start bleeding. I don’t get why he even wanted a smooth crack at our age. FML
Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
Better treated now than never, therefore it will be a temporary problem.
FluffythePink 23
How tf is a COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS website managing to be racist when literally no one can tell if you are black, white, green or purple with orange spots?
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Comments (6)
cuz803 46
Better treated now than never, therefore it will be a temporary problem.
suntrkr 9
maybe don't watch....
Pink_Turnips 14
maybe its one of those things where its so gross, you cant look away
nanabanana14333 1
sounds like an fml for him
great_nate 26
A good spouse would assist.
Studious_Gluteus 20
A good, able-bodied spouse doesn't need someone else to wipe their ass for them.
bigdaddyeric 37
Maybe apply it for him?