Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and say,s "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
Today, I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the subway. She quietly refused. Minutes later on a sharp turn, she almost fell down on two people. As I was clearly the youngest in the disability seating section, everyone on the train turned and glared at me. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
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Top comments
zachattack 0
Nice job. I bet you think you're TOTALLY HAWT and that all the guys want to look at you. Turns out only blind men do :)
jesusjr 0
i bet he didn't SEE that coming!
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Comments (75)
Amkii 0
OK, I know you're a chick, as am I, but.... this made me laugh soo hard. Marry me.
gurlthatwalks 0
sucks youdidnt notice that 2 seconds before you said that. not really your fault
natsaysheyyy 16
What the **** is wrong with you?
hamburgerjung 23
I guess that there were two
cobrakid77678 0
FAIL
AliSama 17
why do people assume the worst?
jesusjr 0
i bet he didn't SEE that coming!
MrForgetable 0
Of course not, he's blind.
CharismaGeek 19
That's the joke.
Bauer_fml 0
Nice job there. I hope that while you were busy giving the blind guy the stink eye there were three other men staring at your rack.
zachattack 0
Nice job. I bet you think you're TOTALLY HAWT and that all the guys want to look at you. Turns out only blind men do :)
zoopy_fml 0
Pretty sure this is unlikely.
slyvanilla_creme 0
that's really sad. he probably thought you were making fun of his handicap. it's so ironic that you used the word "SEE" cuz obviously he couldn't see now. even if you were offended, maybe you could have stood elsewhere on the subway or hid your cleavage a bit....what i would have done.
DanIsTheMan 1
#6 ZING!
itybitykity 0
Karma, babe. Irist my case.