Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized why my wife starts so many arguments lately. I vent by angry-cleaning. She pisses me off on purpose so she doesn't have to do any chores. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset after I politely asked him to do the laundry. He takes every chance he gets to act macho and brag to people about how he's in the Marines, but apparently he is too much of a pussy to act like a man and clean his own clothes. FML
Today, I found out why my boyfriend of over a year is so obsessed with cleaning his entire place before I come over. He's been hiding the ex-girlfriend who never moved out. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
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Top comments
ToeJams 0
That is a very very smart man
DrMime 10
"Grr! Hulk clean!!!" -"GAAAH HULK NEED MORE LEMON PLEDGE!!!!"
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Comments (266)
IStillReadBooks 8
Wow, what an asshole
Every1luvsfmls 6
Well instead of cleaning realise what your doing and flip da **** out
waswashere 0
He sounds like an innovator to me
biggestfan23 11
He's the exact opposite of an asshole. He's a critical thinker
zombiegold 23
Instead of cleaning you should start messing things up. That would show him.
ThisIsMyReign 4
Resourceful man right there. Now, figure out how to have her get you beer and the remote and you'll be set.
zombicidal 11
I would figure a mouth would be the exact opposite of an asshole
chillyCholo 5
What I don't get is why he would tell her..
theaws0m3guy 4
Well do you purposely make him angry so he'd talk with proper grammar?
traze 7
Your still here?! Holy shit. This goes to miss kaysl
CRC_101 31
32 - We'll take it for granted that she already knows how to make the sandwich, of course! (Can't forget the sandwich o.o)
JayJavaMonsterr 10
LMFAO! Made my day :D
AyeTee77 18
This reminds me of something that could be in a Wiser's Whiskey commercial. I applaud you, my fellow man.
Yak99 0
Can we all just have a big orgy im really lonely here
gntfmlingnow 12
I feel as though this may be a YDI. Not for her cleaning, but lack thereof. If the only way he can get you to help clean at all is making you angry, maybe you could help out a bit more regularly so that he doesn't NEED to make you angry.
ThisIsMyReign 4
135 - Oh right, how could I have forgotten the sandwich? Damnit!
Cedar4 1
60% of the time, it works every time.
99problems99 0
It's smart thinking. He doesn't want to do it, it cools her off. What's the problem
Manganimegrl 16
My cousin makes beds when she's angry. One time while she was over at my house, we were sitting on my bed, and something triggered her anger, so she literally said to me, "Get off your bed. NOW!" I was pretty freaked out until she told me she makes beds when she's angry. So yeah, OP, you're not the only one. :) Whenever I'm angry, or pretty much any negative emotion, I either read or listen to music. Those are almost the only reasons why I'm so smart and musically talented.
GovernorGeneral 8
Confess to him that youve been secretly dipping his toothbrush in the toilet every morning ;)
ALLDAY88 8
Yeah, he's an asshole for telling you this and not keeping it to himself.
xSIRxSHIGGLESx 1
Classic!!!
xcowboys 0
He isn't an asshole. He's a smart asshole.
Cryptic_Equinox 0
I feel the term here would be " Evil Genius" But thats just me..
tjv3 10
Well you have to hand it to him though .
MissFits_fml 6
66, a mouth *can* be an asshole especially when anything that comes out of it is shit. figuratively speaking, of course. :) :)
jtthegr8 26
What an ass...you should stop so he can clean while you're mad!
DrMime 10
My girlfriend likes to get it on when she's angry... Yea, my life is awesome...
IAdminIFlow 0
Take a shit on his pile of clothes and say " all done honey!"
Awsumuzzie 12
When did the word awesome get substituted for imaginary?
DrMime 10
I didn't know that you knew the details of my personal life!!! We should have a get together and play monopoly!
Awsumuzzie 12
Change that to scrabble and we have a date.
ladyLALAA 29
Words with Friends?
DrMime 10
Benefits with friends?
CryMoreFMLs 15
Can I join your scrabble game? I promise not to use naughty words.
CRC_101 31
^ Don't promise such things! That's the best part!
Awsumuzzie 12
Strip scrabble?
DrDilllonReese 12
Scrabble is amateur hour, connect four is where it's at.
silentbutfunny 0
Chess..... No? Ok :(
jtthegr8 26
Come on guys, go fish is where its at....
Exeggcute 5
Ants in pants??? Anyone?
gurly98 13
Oh emm gee that sux D:
melissamoshh 0
Seriously?
gurly98 13
What it sux for her
Shelta957 13
^ 12 year olds don't belong here
DKParth13 5
No.
hotPinklipstick 24
Yes it 'sux' as you put it, but the way you wrote that literally makes me want to throw a dictionary at you and scream "READ THIS!!"
AllSoul 23
I think so #8...
GoW_Chick 15
I had to re-read this comment because for some reason I read it with "like totally" added in there, you should have just went full on valley girl, at least then it would've shown commitment.
zombicidal 11
I hope you're joking but I somehow get the impression you're just a stupid little girl
gurly98 13
Okay all I'm saying that it sucks for her an di feel bad for her. No need to get your lips in a twist sheesh
AllSoul 23
Our lips in a twist? Am I the only one who has never heard of this expression?
gurly98 13
It means no need to ramble on and on about all this as I've already explained what I was trying to say before
zombicidal 11
I've never heard it either I assume its something Selena Gomez said
MaceFaceLOL 8
Oh dear god...lips in a twist? I think it's 'panties in a bunch/knot' or 'nickers in a twist'
glittercookies 12
My god, you were practically just born.
MaceFaceLOL 8
"Oh em gee 1 c@nt beleaf u wood d0 th@4" that's how she talks in my head.
AllSoul 23
Thanks for that #104, I honestly don't think I could have figured that out on my own. #106 either that or Justin Bieber...
gurly98 13
113 k nw jst dd tht wrng!
zombicidal 11
young lady leave the issue alone you are only appearing immature and bratty just move along laugh at the jokes at your expense and DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS!
AllSoul 23
Feed us, we're hungry!
buck33 14
Gurly98 - Just stop commenting.
MaceFaceLOL 8
Oh god the 9 year old can't even count now, there is no 113 posting on your comment.
ToeJams 0
That is a very very smart man
Royalblood211 0
Hahaha bitches be crazy
rdwhite1986 0
Smart... Until he told her, what a moron
tellithowitis 13
I know I wouldn't confess if I were him...
speshlk37 13
He's fightin' dirty...
girl112891 7
I do the same exact thing when I get mad and I'm at my boyfriends place. But he forces me to stop instead of letting me clean. Instead, he makes me watch a movie. I'm lucky :) I got a nice one.
AngryCanadian 0
This is, nearly word for word, the summary of a Corner Gas episode I saw a couple years back...
Exeggcute 5
Hes not an asshole but a god damn gentleman and scholar I salute you mr using his resources!
chubby_choco 17
That 'smart man' is a tool, and I hope OP broke up with him. Besides, how smart can he REALLY be if he confessed?
DrMime 10
"Grr! Hulk clean!!!" -"GAAAH HULK NEED MORE LEMON PLEDGE!!!!"
MaceFaceLOL 8
XD
DrMime 10
The image of hulk in an apron ran through my head. Must be one sturdy kitchen!
13scarlett13 4
Oh god XD
Namesuhate11 0
I am just surprised they have aprons that are hulk's size.
Just_ol_Kole 0
Judging by the countless times that the Hulk has ripped his shirt I am beginning to think that there is are no shirt sizes he can fit into...
ifbrockd 0
This conversation
BrookeLynnLynn 0
You are one funny man!
RedPillSucks 33
He never rips his pants, cause he has a small package.
Mandachick 0
DrMime, are you on 24/7? I always see you on top.
Mandachick 0
Um that's what she said on my last comment lol. Meant your comments seem to always be close to the top haha
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#234 - I'm pretty sure we all new what you meant by top. No need for double post.
Mandachick 0
#237 I can double post if I want to double post. I just thought it was a funny that's what she said moment. Stop being a bitch
Kingbreezy04 10
Make sure you have dinner ready too woman
Xotoolyxo 16
Wow sexest much
jtthegr8 26
Make your own dinner
DrMime 10
Sexist maybe, sexest? I'm not sure...
omfg_creepers 8
Tell him your taking anger management so his evil doings will fail. "I eat instead of clean now. Want me fat? Piss me off!"
cessily 8
I bet you're really pissed now! *hands broom*
jayylove 1
Haha xP
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Well he sounds lovely. Keep cleaning the flat though, just without him living in it.
capper44 18
Well start making mess when you are angry... That will teach that dumb a nice lesson :)
gurly98 13
That's actually a good idea...
kez238 0
Unless he doesn't clean it up, then she gets angry and cleans it..