Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
Today, I was in bed with my girlfriend and she asked to see my phone to check my Snapchat to see what was in there. After she was done with it, she start looking into her phone to see her memories and started crying over her ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I wanted to spend some time with my girl, but she was more interested in her phone and 90 Day Fiancé. Bored, I went to play video games. Ten minutes later, she came looking for me and yelled that I clearly prefer video games to her. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML
Today, my girlfriends and I had planned a movie night. When she got home, she took her laptop and some snacks we prepared, and spent the evening playing online games. When I asked if I should wait for her, she told me to go and "watch some shit on Netflix, I don't really care" without looking away from the laptop. FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
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Top comments
PharmacyJoe 13
"No dear. I'm just trying to see deep enough into your soul to know if you're worthy enough for sacrifice to the Dark Lord."
BaDumTsss_fml 23
Wow, paranoid much?
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Comments (114)
giantsfan2010 23
Girl logic....as if you could actually do that.
BaDumTsss_fml 23
Wow, paranoid much?
Crossing 17
Maybe she was just busting his balls?
TanzWolf 26
I'm always paranoid of stranger pixel girls on a TV screen. They look like might jump out and look at my boyfriend or something....
illusong 16
Are you dating the overly attached girlfriend (meme)
thomasrasmussen7 20
Well, ball is life.
PharmacyJoe 13
"No dear. I'm just trying to see deep enough into your soul to know if you're worthy enough for sacrifice to the Dark Lord."
kimeatszombies 22
I am Satan, Lord of darkness.
Erebus_Terror 12
You're the Lady of Cuteness.
rocker_chick105 31
15- Bo Burnham reference?
FieldLeftBlank 20
Satan? I thought he meant Voldemort.
bryce0110 23
Everyone who replied here got bad reviews :P
warsun 27
So did you
biebahood 15
wtf how come people here not get a you-know-who reference :O
kimeatszombies 22
I was trying to add a Bo Burnham reference, but no one understood. :P
PharmacyJoe 13
It could be Voldy! Or it could be Sauron... I'll never tell! :)
xSphinx 18
Hail satan you religious christian-mormon *****. Go crucify yourself.
Retaheki 27
Your girlfriend is really insecure. If she really thinks you could get a good look at girls through the reflection in her eyes, she's got issues.
rdenkewicz 11
Why would she think you watch girls basketball to check out other girls? She needs to be worried about cheerleading, beach volleyball and the internet.
jojimugo 20
Your girl crazy dude
miianah1 22
She's probably joking. I cannot see anyone saying that seriously. But if she is serious, then all I can say is run.
tuxedoandex 28
She's obviously been cheating on you with the toaster, and she's trying to cover it up. Break up with her immediately.
miianah1 22
"Mm look at those .05 millimeter boobs" Your girlfriend is an idiot if she was serious.
Exodiafinder687 58
But the girls could only be reflected in her eyes if she was looking at the TV too. Hate to tell you this, but it sounds like your girlfriend might be a lesbian.
Dave_Davington 35
Actually, she'd have to be looking at a point that's exactly equidistant between his eyes and the TV.
Exodiafinder687 58
This is the internet. We don't need any of your fancy schmancy "science" around here!
trellz17 19
Science? You mean witchcraft!!
Exodiafinder687 58
Witchcraft!? I'll get the stakes if you get the torches.
biebahood 15
xD ...you guys R E A L L Y need to start a show... like big bang theory or something!