Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard brush. Just last week I swore that I never touch it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
Today, while making out, my clean-shaven husband pulled away because he could feel my lip hairs tickling him. I thought he was making a joke so I called him a tosser and walked away. Later I checked in the mirror and there they were, two black hairs swinging in the breeze right under my nose. FML
Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML
Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML
Today, I watched a large, sweaty woman stick a hairbrush down her shirt to scratch a rash on her back, before putting it back on the shelf. FML
Today, for the third time, I had to tell my stepfather to stop using my razor. It seems when I told him last time that I use it on my armpits, that only encouraged the behaviour. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML
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Top comments
leogachi 15
Why would you even do that?
EnvyMe33 26
Out of all the things to use to scratch your armpit, why the hell would you use that?!? How rude!!
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Comments (26)
WinterChild 20
Well aren't you just a scoundrel and a liar.
leogachi 15
Why would you even do that?
EnvyMe33 26
Out of all the things to use to scratch your armpit, why the hell would you use that?!? How rude!!
engineerosaurus 26
So now you're disgusting AND a liar. Kinda makes me wonder what else you lie about if you'll lie over something that small. I'm sure your husband wonders, too.
onceuponatime456 16
Why do you lie to your husband?
onceuponatime456 16
Why do you lie to your husband?
Nnzyb 8
One: That's gross. Have some respect for your husband as well as other people's property. Two: Now he might start wondering what else you were lying about.
MissPanda85 5
More like F his life
LyricaSilvan 30
Good job. Now you're on the fast track to him never trusting you again.
FightsBlankets 3
You're disgusting OP.