Maiar
Winnipeg, Canada
Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Lenore
Setup
Today, I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. My husband said we should “adapt, not panic” and brought lubricant from the garage. It had a skull warning on it. Apparently I married an engineer. FML
nicole
Reserved
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Toothy
United States
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML
smf_ds
Rebordosa, Portugal
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
Anonymous
Princeton, United States
Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard brush. Just last week I swore that I never touch it. FML
Anonymous
This is us
Today, my husband asked me to check his asshole to see if his haemorrhoid had grown any bigger. This is my life now, all romance gone, and having to check his hairy ringpiece every day, and our kids wonder why I drink before I can fall asleep. FML
peachezthelette
Itchy butt
Today, while at work, I had to explain over the phone to my 33-year-old boyfriend how to use Preparation H. FML
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Anonymous
Itchy and scratchy
Today, I finally forced my husband to go to the doctor's for his chronically itchy arsehole, which he scratches in his sleep, and ends up bleeding all over the sheets. Turns out it’s a fungal infection. Now he has to apply a cream twice a day, which isn’t fun to watch when he does it in the bedroom. FML
Top comments
lvg_fml 10
How old is this man? He needs to learn how to communicate appropriately
harrison99 4
Hope you too MAKE UP! All crappy puns aside I'm sorry about that :(
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Comments (103)
Queenie2014 11
One word: Revenge
Unes 10
I hope u find it in your make up to forgive him
CaliCassanova 14
I don't know he sounds pretty cool and is it possible you totes deserved it??
nicievans 9
As long as his rear is clean, this might not be a bad thing... I mean, hemorrhoid cream reduces under-eye circles and puffiness.
Izabushel 65
Man, when I am cranky at my husband, I only heat the milk for his breakfast cereal for 55 seconds instead of the full min that I normally do. Apparently I really need to step up my passive aggressive activities! Next time he is only getting 50 seconds!
squarecircles 13
'Cause it's the mature thing to do.
kernelkat 16
Passive aggressives suck
awestruck1213 6
You should be replacing your sponges often despite circumstances.
Live4funny 16
That's ******
eerrun 8
Wow wee, what an arse.