Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML
Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
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Top comments
skilova4lifezzz 19
Tell the cashier to mind his own business and leave your shit alone.
Trym 7
Sounds like you should have sacrifised a sock!
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Comments (68)
tanekdrachonae 19
Sorry about your shitty day OP.
ThatFancyPenn 18
Welcome to FML, where this pun isn't even considered a pun anymore.
ohnowhyme123 15
You must of had a crappy day!
JustinKirby 20
Didn't #1 just attempt that pun?
jolie21 18
I just have to say what's on my mind. This reminded me of the buy more ^^ awesome show!
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
It's not going to work if it failed for the person before you!
onlychildFTW 34
No shitty jokes. Jeeze man.
skilova4lifezzz 19
Tell the cashier to mind his own business and leave your shit alone.
\ 28
Hopefully, he got some laundry detergent with it.
dingleberrysteve 6
the smell encompasses you
yerbduebeenehe 16
"Care to explain why you've shit your pants, sir?"
HKCgrimmjow 15
I think he just did actually.
Trym 7
Sounds like you should have sacrifised a sock!
dachayke 16
*Sacrificed. Remember, grammer are important.
Wizardo 34
What the shit, grammar is important*...
HKCgrimmjow 15
Sorry #25 but you can't say grammar is important and then **** up the word grammar. That's just a douchebag move...
djkazic 5
He was being sarcastic, look how he used 'are'.
ThatFancyPenn 18
I'm laughing my ass off at this FML. The actual one itself, and the comments. How do you guys not get that it was sarcasm?
Trym 7
Well, sorry for not beeing english, and typing in a hurry with an iPhone set to norwegian autocorrect, and then slipping on one letter. :)
arandomusernameaa 20
Go away grammar Nazi!
ThomasBombadil 31
I think there is a country song about this. If not there should be.
TheRoyalDog 10
"Have a shitty rest of the day, Miss!"
TheRoyalDog 10
I am ashamed of that comment
ilovefall10 21
OP, I know your pain. It's never fun having a upset stomach, and trust me, I suffer from IBS, so it happens a lot.
hopsinlove17 26
Everybody gets sick OP, no need to feel super embarrassed. I hope for your speedy recovery(:
DeviOomaki 9
Hope you feel better soon OP
bessiemay01 5
Why would you keep going to the store? I'd turn around and dump the crap in the pot and hop in the shower.
honeymoonroyale 20
Lol yeah, I'm pretty sure there was a shower around lol