Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
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Top comments
KittyMcSunshine 0
it probably means "kiss my ass"
reecescuphoe 0
fyl for not having a sense of humor
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Comments (169)
Jewelofagal 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What is he, 12? (Which is probably an insult to 12 year olds everywhere). Consider that his response is your clue to break it off with him because he's a moron.
The_Pleb 0
GUY TRANSLATION...... A) He thinks your a pain in the ass. YDI B) He doesnt give a shit what you think. FYL C) He wants you to slap his ass and ride him like a pony. WIN +2 O and im SECONED!!! thankyou
liveBabylon 0
ahahahah I ****** love guy translations. +stop whining and women get on his horse!
spiffles 0
Are you kidding #1 this guy is hilarious!! God forbid guys should be silly.
pinky2 0
you FAIL. you're not #2....you're #17
narks 0
Trigger: Your boyfriend pulls his pants down and slaps his ass. Possible Actions: -Ask him to explain. -Post the minor confusion on FML. Yeah, fair enough.
DameGreyWulf 1
Yeah, no kidding. And minor confusion = MLIA, really... And based on the OP's responses, this definitely deserves MLIA. "Well he was just being random" absolutely rings it should be removed as an FML.
ActionManly 11
ROFL, he probably just had a really big bee sting or something on his ass...
tarheel22893 0
In my native country, this is a sign that he is preparing to kill you and to use your body for sexual purposes... if you made him a sammich later that day, an action common to American women (and rightfully so!), you may have unknowingly accepted to allow him to fulfill his wish
IonaDavina 0
Get a ******* life, the girl isn't moaning and I doubt she'll appreciate anyone telling her to "Get on his horse". Grow up.
Othello22 4
I sort of agree, it could have been some form of a sex joke! Maybe it has something to do with pride. it's seems more like just a way to show off that he knows he's good. Guys are like that, I see no problem here!
rachs1161 0
lol at 87 :P
awkwardturtley 0
yesss MLIA has successfully infiltrated FML >_> good work agent 89 you have completed your mission in record time!!
DarkAlex24 0
haha nice
howie321 0
wow 128.... wow
broomstick 0
Learn some grammar.
KittyMcSunshine 0
it probably means "kiss my ass"
ToxicMoon 0
....my boyfriend did the same thing. I don't know why either.
greenltrn2003 0
ahh...the mind of a man...idiotic yet awesome
rcbarnes 24
Actually, it means "Dump my ass."
Michael Nekula 5
it's more the old phrase "well smack my ass and call me (noun)" he was surprised to be appreciated.
Rayn4u_fml 0
I think it means that he's mentally incapacitated and that it's time to move on.
bored690 0
Damn right he sounds like a tard
lostfaithinpppl 19
YDI for picking a boyfriend with an obvious lack of intelligence.
neuroticallyours 0
and your basing your theory and what exactly? is everyone with an odd sense of humor or way of showing affection unintelligent? yay, for you showing your ignorance though! (that was also sarcasm, in case you think that's unintelligent too)
fireandice27 0
OP - I don't think you're doing yourself any favours by responding to everyone's posts here. FMLs are meant to be funny - you don't need to justify your life to anyone. In fact, you may just be helping along the increased negativity people are viewing your post with. People comment here with what amused them about the FML, and aren't expecting an argument with the OP about exactly why their comment how their comment does not relate to the OP's life.
crazytoaster 2
"Hahahaha, i slap myself on da butt! Bwhahaha i poo-poo out here. Look at me, i'm da best horse in da entire world. Hahahahahaha butt and poo-poo." Yeah, ass-slapping isn't the most intelligent form of humour. But YDI for not knowing what an self-inflicted ass-slapping means after being told your loved.
Coocumber 0
yes because doing something probably just to be funny is a definite sign of a lack of intelligence. you must have a boring as shit taste in guys
reecescuphoe 0
fyl for not having a sense of humor
boycrazy30007 12
She never said anything negative. I'm pretty sure she posted this as a wtf moment.
jcrook 0
Why didn't you ask him what it meant? Did the scene somehow just end there? Or did he walk off? In which case, I think you have your answer.
RyeBreadBoy 0
lol exactly my thought. obviously you should ask him what it meant, if you're unsure. then, problem solved. i didn't realize minor confusion equated to an FML these days.
neuroticallyours 0
Minor confusion is not the reason for the FML but rather his response was. I put that in as an afterthought, and for everyone wondering what it meant, it was just a joke, plain and simple, he's not retarded, just random as ****.
BritishHobo 0
Woo.
sweetspicegirl 0
Ya i totaly agree its not an FML unless it totaly ended there. i hate these people that post things that are like unfinished stories
StaticDown 0
I guess it might mean he's only happy sexually and he thought you would give him some since you want to make him happy. Or just the latter. Just tell him how you honestly feel about sexual stuff, if that bothered you then you should let him know.
lebrockshard 10
hahaha this really made me laugh! i'm gonna say FYL, but if i were you i wouldn't look to much into it. many guys react this way when faced with emotional talk and feelings. i know its immature but still not a reason to break it off with him like some pple are sayin :)
PhillyFox 0
This is not an FML. So what if your bf is unusual? If you can't deal with that, leave.