Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML
Today, at lunch I ordered a Coke. The waiter replied, "Diet Coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular Coke." He shook his head and said again, "Diet Coke." FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything…" FML
Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML
Today, I got screamed at by my mom for about 10 minutes because she claims I’m ruining my diet by drinking sparkling water, claiming it’s “soda”. I had to explain that it has zero sugar, calories, etc. She told me that it’s “the same fucking shit.” And to not trust “the government food labels.” Huh? FML
Today, I wanted to believe that people couldn't possibly be this stupid, but prior to surgery my brother's wife was put on an all-liquid diet. The idiot didn’t realize that putting cake and ice cream in a blender didn’t make it a fucking clear liquid. She argued, “I’m not eating it, I’m drinking it!” FML
Today, a customer asked if our milkshake flavourings contained dairy. I had no idea, and it seems the manufacturer assumes milkshakes will contain milk, so didn't state on any of the bottles that they were dairy-free. I had to google every obscure number in the ingredient list to check. FML
Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking Gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
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Top comments
jpsullivan 36
Do you work as a professional dream killer?
False_Stupidity 42
They could still do a low calorie milkshake diet. Doesn't have to be zero, right?
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Comments (61)
jpsullivan 36
Do you work as a professional dream killer?
False_Stupidity 42
They could still do a low calorie milkshake diet. Doesn't have to be zero, right?
RadikulRam 16
Nope. I mean, healthy foods have calories, so they can supplement themselves partially through liquids too.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Or they could do a normal diet, meaning eating healthy food and working out, not living off liquid...
Randomness90 27
This sounds like the people in my nutrition class.
FMLusername969 21
Vanilla Protein +ice +skim milk+splenda/ blender 30sec= YUM!
Dlzq 22
'Murica
JHam12 14
Wow are some people that stupid
Voij 16
Not neccessarily stupid, maybe just slightly ignorant and naive. The majority of these types of "<specific food> diets" are based on childish belief in easy solutions, coupled with unrealistic presentations and, often times, outright lies.[See especially a massive amount of women-oriented magazines.] Instead of telling people that they need to follow the long, hard and nutrition-wise complex task of changing to a healthy diet, keeping it up and exercising a lot, these diets promise easy solutions by simply reducing your diet to one product. ["And it only takes 2 weeks!"] After being offered the choice of picking something that definitely works but requires a lot of effort, vs. something that supposedly works with very little effort, many people simply go straight for the second one... but instead of realising that these methods don't work, they simply jump from one fad to the next. And because they're so used to just trusting these methods blindly, they don't question the scientific basis behind them.
dragonrider1959 18
But most people know that milkshakes are inherently unhealthy
SirMichael 13
Diet sodas also have 0 calories.
sarcasticdevil 5
They're also crap for you and are worse than regular soda
Vegetarian27 24
I still have no idea how that works. I mean, there's stuff in them, so surely there is some energy content?
EverettA 16
The sugar substitutes they put in them are not able to be broken down by the body like natural sugars so they just aren't used so no use=no energy.
ftloosenfanzfree 7
Of course they're not good for you, but that doesn't change the fact that OP's definitive "all beverages have calories" statement was thoroughly wrong.
kibster9 20
Celery has only 6 calories and it actually burns more than 6 calories eating and digesting it.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
They don't. They have at least 1 calories and are anyway very bad for you in large quantities.
mcloonybin 15
Black coffee has no calories.
danielhartlesss 13
Black coffee also tastes better than many sodas
capnbzarr 43
Same goes for tea.
bearstyle22 11
I want a smoothie
booze_n_bitches 37
Zero calories isn't necessarily good. I'd prefer 200 calories of a fruit smoothie than 0 calories of some diet fizzy drink...
tdawg91 17
^legend! Every fad dieter seems far more concerned with calories, sugar and fat counting... They seem to forget that their body actually needs those things along with the vitamins and minerals that come along with them
Purexinsanity 46
Hey at least you saved them the trouble of going weeks drinking nothing but fatty drinks!
abNormal62 23
Offer them some gripe water as an alternative