Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom wanted to surprise me by buying me a hamster. When I got into her car, I was actually surprised and even said, "Hi" to the hamster. When we got home, the hamster was dead. FML
Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML
Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
Today, I got back home and my hamster was dead. I left notes two weeks ago everywhere to remind my parents to feed it while I was overseas. Apparently, my parents even didn't realize I was gone. FML
Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML
Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML
Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML
Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML
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Top comments
taytoc 10
Clean up after yourself.
emeraldisle 30
Troll mom strikes again.
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Comments (93)
perdix 31
Did he leave a note?
SPRKY 6
I don't think it was suicide. His parachute just didn't open in time.
RedPillSucks 33
homicide (hamster cide ) you say? looks like a job for..... The Pet Detective
RedPillSucks 33
homicide (hamster cide ) you say? looks like a job for..... The Pet Detective
ShyAnn29 15
Yes, or someone must have messed with his parachute so it wouldn't open
then000bster 16
He left a note pouring out his hatred for his owner. Then before he jumped he was hungry and ate the note and felt his life was fulfilled. *jump*
cartedor 18
More importantly, the will, what did he leave you?
fmlgiraffe 23
A cage
Jovecove 13
And a pile of hamster *****.
zombieslayer83 19
Kamikaze hamster. What is the world coming too?
mario2012 18
Maybe it thought it was a lemming.
ICastillo 25
I believe his last words were, Squeak Squeak...Squeak Squeak Squeak Squeak Squeak. Poor little guy you could tell he had a rough life.
rezho 5
I am unsure how this would of killed the hamster... Mine has fallen off the balcony, an entire story and simple ran off. Bad luck OP
Ukeee_X 19
Too soon I take it? When my hamster died, my mother buried it in a hair dye box.
Enslaved 38
Come on baby (Don't fear the reaper) Baby take my hand (Don't fear the reaper) We'll be able to fly (Don't fear the reaper) Baby I'm your man Poor Hammy! Listening to "Blue Oyster Cult" finally got to him!
perdix 31
#27, I'm thinking "Hamster Dance," but that doesn't have any lyrics! If there was a "Hamster Safety Dance," this whole tragedy could've been avoided.
buckdharma 38
Needs more cowbell!
DocBastard 40
If your room is that much of a disgusting mess, I would recommend never bringing a girl in there. Trying to explain her death after seeing your pigsty would be much more difficult to explain.
JackStag 3
lmao, your hamster commited suicide... i feel sorry for you but find the idea of a hamster jumping rather entertaining especially with ur moms comment
rvnclwprfct731 13
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend...
Enslaved 38
"I will understand" (:
beehardxcore 26
Hahahaha, sorry about the hamster, but your mom kicks ass.