Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML
Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML
Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML
Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'. The good news is we found our daughter's missing hamster. FML
Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML
Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, my mom wanted to surprise me by buying me a hamster. When I got into her car, I was actually surprised and even said, "Hi" to the hamster. When we got home, the hamster was dead. FML
Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML
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Top comments
MartinDJ 26
Well clearly you need to learn your daughter about what you can and can not lie about. This is just nauseating.
kipperin 18
"It's fking rotten!!" -Gordon Ramsay
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Comments (89)
MartinDJ 26
Well clearly you need to learn your daughter about what you can and can not lie about. This is just nauseating.
Queen_of_Night 20
"Can and cannot lie about"? When I was growing up I was pretty sure the general rule of thumb was don't lie.
thenotsoflyguy 13
It is also teach and not learn*
junkman6 22
It's an old saying 20 "learn that child a thing or two." Am I just getting old or is that saying still common among you chillins?
MartinDJ 26
20 well I'm sorry but I've never learned that learn was a wrong word to use in this specific sentence. Ahh never mind get it now
JayGatsby 25
#17, sometimes you have to lie out of respect for others (white lies), however for the most part I do agree that people should try and tell the truth as often as they can and also that they should phrase the truth in a nice manner.
Moonunit226 19
Its ok, In Norway, Sweden and Denmark it is more common to say "I will learn you a lesson" instead of "I will teach you a lesson" sentences are structured differently in those places :)
Just_A_Tree 20
You got some skeletons in your closet. Hiding your problems only allows for them to come back and stink up your life/ room.
kipperin 18
"It's fking rotten!!" -Gordon Ramsay
iLike2Teabag 27
"This hamster is so raw, a skilled vet could have saved him!" - Gordon Ramsay
Huddisher 10
Holy shit. I'm crying.
RayvenWhite 12
Lol I could hear it in my head with his voice. XD Nice one.
Anthonymm2 20
Peach is in a another castle now
jdizz16 16
Do hamsters ever..."run away?"
nonamejoe 7
Yup they do occasionally run away
Just_A_Tree 20
I've had a dog run away. That's what my mom told me as my dad planted a new tree in the backyard. Hey, wait just one minute. I don't think that was a tree! It was a Red Fern! Now I remember.
AnyaS 19
I was asked the same thing about turtles when two of mine actually ran away.
doodlecloud 27
Have you ever held a hamster? They scurry EVERYWHERE. If you don't keep your eye on them you will probably lose them. Weird fact - apparently someone near me has just found their hamster, alive, after it ran away about 6 months ago. I don't really know how that's possible but it was in the local paper...so, maybe it's true?
juturnaamo 29
My snapping turtle ran away. Luckily, we live near several bodies of water.
orbit 22
The hamster in Malcolm in the middle ran away
sylverdrag_fml 9
Have you checked the closet? :D
Chibi_Kitten 24
Just how old is your daughter? Poor Peaches never stood a chance.
TheHarvardian 25
isn't the line about the dead pet running away what the parent says to the kid?
mrhe3t 9
I thought the same thing.
foxwasalamb 24
kid logic. same as when your parents asked you where this was or why didnt you do that and we just shrugged and mumbled "idunnno"
james98e 15
Guess it's hamster for dinner then!
awesomeamandas 37
considering the hamster is already decomposing i would say it is rotten. next time you try to be funny take a few seconds to think over what you have said before sending the comment. it might save you the embarrassment of being burried.
Brandi_Faith 34
50, So you're saying if the hamster wasn't already decomposing it would be fine to eat?!
Awesome_Ninjaz 12
Well, all meat starts to decompose as soon as the animal is dead. Eat up.
qpdoll 19
Yeah, because when I look through the comments, my one wish is to get the sudden urge to vomit.
Vagitarian1 10
Time to talk to her about lying.