Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, my coworker showed me photos of her anal fissures. I'm not a doctor. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, my best friend of 12 years traveled cross country to help me recover from major surgery. I've been sitting in the hospital by myself while she has sex in my empty apartment with some guy she met. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
sobstory10000 17
It's now time to tear up that relationship with both of them
Morning_fml 22
I'm going to say what everyone's going to say: dump that disloyal bitch and find a new best friend.
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Comments (182)
hurley12 30
You didn't deserve it, but she did!
vikky538 29
your girl friend is officially declared as anal hazardous material...
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Ahh, good ol' karma... cheat on your boyfriend and your butt tears open.
jvelasquez 8
Don't be so ANAL about it.
Ilmoran 20
I hope the OP posts a follow up in which the (ex) girlfriend claims it wasn't cheating because it wasn't "really" sex...
amber3120 15
She deserved it ^_^ at least karma got to her before you even knew about it ! 2 birds one stone . Find a better gf . Best friend too.
joeblow6969 5
Tell her to leave, and dont let the door hit her on the ass on the way out. Those stitches are fresh.
buddy_J 16
Gotta love instant karma
davincidasecond 24
I think the best course of action would be sending her some fiery hot wings.
allyiscute1 22
Karma got to her fast! Laugh at her misfortune(: