Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, my coworker showed me photos of her anal fissures. I'm not a doctor. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, my best friend of 12 years traveled cross country to help me recover from major surgery. I've been sitting in the hospital by myself while she has sex in my empty apartment with some guy she met. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sobstory10000 17
It's now time to tear up that relationship with both of them
Morning_fml 22
I'm going to say what everyone's going to say: dump that disloyal bitch and find a new best friend.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (182)
lolzalolliepop 15
*ex girlfriend, I hope so... Because they both just teared your trust apart!
LaurenRoxsU 9
OP, it's truly regrettable there is not a "She Deserved It" button option. I would hit it for sure. Just like he did. Ah, too soon?
Gauzy21 12
Should say my now exgirlfriend!
MissBehavin77 18
I hope she ate Taco Bell first. Kick them both out of your life, you deserve better.
Ilmoran 20
I might agree with you if the "best friend" had told the OP immediately, but no, your best friend doesn't **** your girlfriend and NOT inform you that she's a cheating *****. As far as I'm concerned, it may as well have been a random dude, because the guy is not behaving like a friend.
blackvyper 8
I guess he ripped her new one!
comerz 5
I was gonna post a funny comment, butt all the goodones were taken.
brinda08 5
She deserved it!
pedinhuh 23
Karma can be such a asshole sometimes... ...hehe, get it? No please don't show me the door, I will leave myself out.
Kittyphysics 21
instant karma.