Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML
Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, I found out that my mom withdrew me from karate at the insistence of my my fucking stepdad, who's a wimpy sissy pacifist who is against violence. I was so close to getting my black belt. FML
Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML
Today, I was in school when I got up to ask the teacher a question. For no reason, the guy sitting next to me punched me in the gut so hard I collapsed and saw stars. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML
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Top comments
ihasbrains 10
At least it wasn't your balls
omfgTACOsYeSs 0
Watch Kung Fu Panda 2, that shit teaches the best moves.
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Comments (303)
ihasbrains 10
At least it wasn't your balls
imacreeper 3
Now you're both the same height! :)
CryMoreFMLs 15
Well, getting your breath knocked out does suck... and little kids are sometimes steroids induced midgets so yeah....
WTSchool 0
Either you're short to get KNEED in the stomach by a 6th grader, or you were bending down when they kneed you. Either way, FYL.
nyrangers1022 6
kick the kid in the head
mexicotoucher 7
Dude, it's a kid. OP wouldn't beat up a kid, that's low.
staceysgenesis16 0
slap that bitch.
yougotapes 7
he probably didn't give him candy
herrobear 0
Should've trained in Kung Fu.
sameroni13 0
guess u didn't really earn it
sameroni13 0
guess u didn't really earn it
saaaalt 4
Pain Is Pain. Try telling that story to a pregnant woman then tell me how bad your life sucks.
EvilPotato 15
that probably destroyed your ego.
humorizer 14
"Today, my body reacted in the manner that it was designed to, even though I have studied a martial art." I don't get it.
Newboyz00185 0
Was he fat?
calenzelon 6
amen
monkeebalz 0
hahaha funny, now pick a real martial art
bbucaro98 0
martial arts are gay
boyguydudemalema 0
that is what actually happens when you get knee'd in the stomach, knowing martial arts doesn't prevent people from feeling pain (except those shaolin monks, they can take hits to the balls and smile it off)
nancyfantastic 3
118, I couldn't agree more.... having a black belt in a martial art does not make you invincible.
doglover339 4
ummm it could have been a girl who posted this
TylersMB 0
so did suprise attack you or something? if you were then being a blackbelt wouldnt matter. plus the kid was only in the 6th grade. loll
zendaddy0 0
ok seriously why does everybody think that because they have a black belt makes them freaking Jesus really you can still get hurt
sameroni13 0
he deserves the belt now
hippo1234 19
172- EXACTLY! my friend just got her black belt. then, she fell down the stairs and broke her arm and two ribs. black belts don't give you super powers. you still get hurt, and surprised, and attacked by little kids.
Tuesdaythe10th 11
And honestly would you be proud of beating up a little kid ?
whatfml 0
tae kwondo hand out belts to easy, should do a real dicipline like Muay thai. can't lose bro!
RugbyKid 0
lol taekwondo is a useless martial art
awwwyeaahh 0
lol
myschyveus 0
taekwondo isn't useless at all. it can have many practical applications. I think op is upset that he couldnt read and/or deflect the attack. I don't believe it has as much to do with pain. but yeah that sucks op. give him a sky-tearing snap-kick of doom to the face next time!!
firstrecon 0
you should train in some Hawaiian kenpo or kajukembo, both are very similar... and help to hive you superhuman abilities. you could even take two to the chest ad shrug it off!!!!
natirixoxo 0
And now you have a black stomach :) kids these days
Kingkiwi 5
lmfao good one
sana2014 0
Either that or the sixth grader is tall.
Jonscarl 0
well he was obviously a midget ninja disguised as a sixth grader.
CarleeBugg123 5
This comment would have been hysterical if OP was really a girl xD
mohnjccreary 6
#19
omfgTACOsYeSs 0
Watch Kung Fu Panda 2, that shit teaches the best moves.
niiick97_fml 3
absolute win. ^
MsSoulReaper 27
Kung Fu Panda 2 was badass. It got me in the mood to kick ass but I didn't. I would have gotten thrown out the movies for breaking cardboard cut-outs.
ihasbrains 10
Like getting obese and sitting on your opponent?
Paradoxasaurus 0
He might learn something if he did watch it. How to properly spell Tae Kwon Do, for instance.
BAMF519 0
o damn true dat gurl
LexxyLiime 0
Eerybody was Kung Foo Fiiiighting!
hatesfate 6
90- You mean he might "have" learned something.
sandyandellie 5
126, "have" is kind of past-tense.. but it could work either way,I guess.
DonZilla_RAWR 6
Sorry, please don't get mad ): But had is past tense....Unless you say have had. (:
Glassmaster 0
Like the Wu Shu Finger Hold?
ObeseKitten 0
what's Wrong with Being Obese? skadoosh.
jayfish7 0
136- Again, don't get angry, I'm not usually a Grammar Nazi, but since I have nothing else to do, I guess I will try it out :P. When the words 'has' or 'have' are used with the past participle of a verb (i.e.-'have tackled') the perfect tense is formed. When 'had' is used with the past participle of a verb, it forms the past perfect tense (i.e.-'had tackled'). Thus, the word 'have' is not past, but perfect.
futtbuck101 1
At least it wasn't a black eye
omgpewpewlazersp 0
178 - that was beautiful :)
SeeYouNTee 0
Oh the irony
syki 22
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/irony ^ | Educate yourself.
sxe_beast 11
m.dictionary.com/d/?q=irony " outcome contrary to expectations" According to that definition this FML would be ironic. What happened to the OP was opposite (contrary) of what he thought would happen.
Shlizabeth 0
You didn't really just prove that this post is ironic... Unless he learned taekwondo because he thought someone was going to knee him in the stomach, and thought that learning taekwondo would prevent them from kneeing him in the stomach... Which he didn't.
sxe_beast 11
But one of the reasons he probably took taekwondo was to defend himself from assailants. This would include being kneed in the stomach. He was unable to defend himself from this assault, which is contrary to what he expected. So in a way it could possibly be irony.
Soloman212 28
You're both right in a way. It isn't very direct irony, but it COULD technically be situationally ironic.
smileyxo4 5
it's not like he would kick the sixth grader back and backflip her onto the ground ....
awwwyeaahh 0
yeah
BrokenDreamer24 15
You have a point. And I'm not being a kiss ass, there is a point.
syki 22
Good point, you sexy beast. Maybe this is better? v http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony
syki 22
Good point, you sexy beast. Maybe thus is better? v http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony
syki 22
Good point, you sexy beast. Maybe this is better? v http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony
browniegrl 4
either way ydi for learning a martial art made in America and tailored to Americans. next time try karate or anything authentic.
Hosea11 0
like
syki 22
Good point, you sexy beast. Maybe this is better? v http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony
kdog333 1
it really isnt ironic. why would he hit a sixth grader anyway?
topbanana 0
your stupid. why are you on fml.
omfgTACOsYeSs 0
why are you on fml? . jackass
fatalblue06 0
Give the kid a candy, wouldn't ended up kneeing you in stomach.
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Would've got the kid's parents called you a perv though
MrSassypants 34
Yes because giving a kid some candy would get you into a better situation. Also OP he could've been a black belt too and the element of surprise is... well suprising.
Taurusbaybe 8
Yes, let us all reward bullies...?
020266t 5
yes, let us reward the bullies. With poisoned gum.
awwwyeaahh 0
eor
JamBox 3
For ***** sake op is dumb he took taekwondo.....absolute bullshit try something usefull
blairebourgeois 2
fifth!!!
WavinFlag 3
fail
Grimmerie 31
cool story bro
awwwyeaahh 0
wow
ilovecanada_fml 0
Owned by a 12 year old. FYL.
itsmeyippie 0
hey, the kid could have been really dumb, older and bigger than OP just held back?
ThatOtherMegan 30
Looks like you need to practice Taekwondo more often.
Davyy 0
Not if he's a black belt
mcgugs 0
you guys...sheesh. if OP wasn't expecting the punch (and it sounds like he wasn't) it really doesn't make a difference whether he has 0 training or, as he says, a black belt in taekwondo. Furthermore, as such a high rank in taekwondo, he should know for a fact that a hit to the stomach (or worse, 8 inches lower) can be painful and even dangerous if the victim is caught unawares.
TheDrifter 24
Either way, if he's slow enough to be taken off guard by a 12 year old his instructor hasn't really been teaching much. These days it seems every failed karate instructor claims he's a Tae Kwon Do master and "teaches" students in his unique style.
AuntBabbzy 0
aha. win.
nolaneldridge 1
uh how?
donawhat 0
children are evil and do what they want. duh.