Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me, "Don't worry, it's not yours." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, I went and had my first ultrasound done. My husband said he had a meeting at work, and couldn't come. As I was leaving, I saw him at the doctor's office with another heavily pregnant woman. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
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Top comments
adelaide_evening 0
Maybe she's a surrogate mother and forgot to tell you?
theshewolf 0
Ultrasounds can be used for things other than pregnancy.
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Comments (151)
smiles1234456 0
How does she think that would make you feel BETTER?? and btw my friend had to get an ultrasound of her stomach when she was like 10.. she wasn't preggers though haha
TeenTiger 0
I really hope you do not plan to stick around and help raise the bastard child. Chances she does not know the fathers name :D
JohnFR33M4N 0
what a ******* *****. lets hope you punch her in the throat and proceed to throw her out of a window Ozymandias style (referance)
forthelulz_fml 0
#3- It's NAHT AH TUMUHHH. HULAU and all I can say is: wat.
synnerr 0
Hahahaha. For those of you who are saying it's an ultrasound for something else, why would she say, "It's not yours?" Maybe she's ******* with you? If not, I'm so sorry. What a *****.
seashell123 0
#10 - No, I'm pretty sure that this is NOT a good thing. First off, his girlfriend has been ******* another guy. Second, she's pregnant with the other guys' baby? That sounds pretty awful to me.
BigLord 0
Lol if she's being serious (and I genuinly think she isn't, I'd do the same in her place just for ***** and giggles) then FYL indeed, ouch.
amykillswitch 0
ouch. i hope she is kidding. if not, dump her. you don't need to be in that situation. lol for some reason her reaction reminded me of Juno.
jesusjr 0
On the birght side, its not yours!
Nakedsquirrel 5
At least you're not going to be burdened with any of that shit.