Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend met my parents, siblings, and some other family members. Thirty minutes later, he broke up with me and stormed out, yelling no way was he staying with me because they’re all fucking psychotic. He's my second boyfriend driven away by my family. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
Today, I reluctantly agreed to bring my boyfriend home to meet my family. He said he wasn’t easily scared and could handle a “weird” family. Two hours later, there was a massive brawl when one uncle hit the other’s wife after she threw wine in his face. Tables were flipped, cops were called. Shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
If your grandfather can show you the ropes of auto-erotic asphyxiation, you won't need a boyfriend!
tigerisabelle 31
Sorry OP, families can suck. :(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
tigerisabelle 31
Sorry OP, families can suck. :(
biggestfan23 11
Maybe yourrr family sucks. Mine is awesome and I'm sure a lot of people on here would say the same thing about there family
DaniPandi 22
Probably not.
biggestfan23 11
#1 edited her comment so now mine makes no sense lol
Shrike 24
Even though you replied to her 3 hours after she posted, and you only get 2 minutes to edit your comment after it's posted. Don't worry, #48, I believe you. I believe you. It was aliens, right?
slimjim8094 12
Editing a comment 3 hours later... Is such a thing even possible?
PenguinBitch 44
#48. It never made sense in the first place.
killer6969 16
Atleast it didn't lead to her parents getting divorced :$
ex_stripper_jk 20
#48 it sucks to be down voted that badly huh... Don't "lol" about it, it happens
Elfkid21 19
I believe her, and in aliens.
AestheticGuy 21
FYL majorly if your family are the religious ones, if its your boyfriend that is, at least you can just ditch him. And tell your grandpa there are many more kinky but less dangerous ways to get sexual gratification, LOL
dc120994 11
what Are you talking about, that family sounds hilarious.
perdix 31
If your grandfather can show you the ropes of auto-erotic asphyxiation, you won't need a boyfriend!
UnluckyGenius 21
I wonder if OP's grandpa was also wearing a Batman costume.
evig_fml 16
Hopefully number 31, or he wouldn't have been doing it right.
zed34 18
Family... Your suppose to love them no matter what........
OnlyTheDarkest 17
Damn that's hard
ileenefudge 29
My birth mother's stupid actions just cost me my job. I think I love my foster family way more at this point.
MadMaddyson 10
try telling that to the children who grew up with Abusive mothers and fathers, the ones who are beaten and discouraged by family, the ones who live in torment because of their 'family'. so no, sir. you are absolutely NOT obligated to love your family. you love them because how they treat you, you love them for the way the help you, you love them because they stand beside you no matter what. that's why you love family, not because some stupid naive feeling that says you are obligated to.
brebabee793 13
not all relatives are family #56, family is who does all those things for you. I know from experience. you're right.. no one is obligated to love family. but I know, in most cases, if you have a situation of that sort, those aren't the people you call your family.
Erery 16
He said supposed not have to.... good point though.
cmayer 20
I think your family sounds charming!
said_aha 7
your family is crazy .. i agree
TylerDC 24
hang in there op.
Phoenixke 16
good riddance to Jesus freaks...yeah I said it...
Queensland 27
Says the guy that looks like Jesus..
salic77 11
Dafuq.
jpest17 5
It did say that Jesus looked plain and unattractive....
thebaddayblues 3
God blesses you and your opinion..
Frenchtony 17
Epic grandpa !
kimee21_fml 15
Well, if he dumps you because of your family, I personnally think he does not deserve you. You worth more sweetie!
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Seems to have dumped you?>.< what does that mean?
Snowkeys 11
He took a dump on her chest.
FaithlessGod 10
It means to (rudely) break up with someone.
ShakeDisPlace 10
#12 That makes about as much sense as wiping before you poop.
Snowkeys 11
#20 If you're ******** on someone chest, you're probably not worried about wiping
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe he's questioning the "Seems to" part. She doesn't seem to be sure. I'm guessing he's ignoring her and she hasn't been able to confront him to figure things out yet.