Charles
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Minneapolis, United States
Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML
WhyDoINeedAName
Okotoks, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
DC.
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML
rawdoglyfe69
Helena, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner
Arlington, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Effective
Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Tim Scotten
🌶️ Spicy
Call me by my name
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML
Anonymous
Edison, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Finger wagging
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
ohmylordy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
asdfasdf
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Time is money
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Spare wheel
Today, an ex of mine told me she wanted a threesome. This was great until I realised I wasn't included. FML
Top comments
CanadAssassiN 0
That hardly made sense, but still-thats sucks. Hey, If she is insensitive enough to cheat on you behind your back, she doesnt deserve to have someone that loves her. Im here for you, buddy...TT_TT
Cloudy_fml 0
Think of it like a sex sandwich with you as the bread! Sex = good. Sandwich = good.
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Comments (48)
genius_man16 1
actually, monogamy is natural for a woman, not for a man so you're half right, and half full of shit whoops, now you might throw some at me
dan81892 2
well at least you're set to get laid at least twice in your lifetime =D
xr4ch431x 0
I said that to a boyfriend once. I loved him but I was pretty young, so what I meant was that I wanted him to be my first (which he was) then I wanted the chance to have life experience (I was with him about a year and a half) and then when I'm older, be with him again and settle down, that way I won't get to like 40, realise I've only been with one person, and then have some sort of midlife crisis Maybe thats what she meant :)
LOKIM8 0
Well there are two simple solutions, 3somes and swingers.
pwincessa23 1
ohh how thoughtful of her.... lol
fireobsessed 0
how many ppl in between
peedxdxdx 0
LOL
tualoina 0
time for a new gf
jessbobessy09 0
what the??? that isn't right!!
mikesols 4
in a weird way that's kind of nice.
Shamandalie89 32
No, it isn't.