Charles
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Minneapolis, United States
Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML
WhyDoINeedAName
Okotoks, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
DC.
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML
rawdoglyfe69
Helena, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner
Arlington, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Effective
Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Tim Scotten
🌶️ Spicy
Call me by my name
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML
Anonymous
Edison, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Finger wagging
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
ohmylordy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
asdfasdf
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Time is money
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Spare wheel
Today, an ex of mine told me she wanted a threesome. This was great until I realised I wasn't included. FML
Top comments
CanadAssassiN 0
That hardly made sense, but still-thats sucks. Hey, If she is insensitive enough to cheat on you behind your back, she doesnt deserve to have someone that loves her. Im here for you, buddy...TT_TT
Cloudy_fml 0
Think of it like a sex sandwich with you as the bread! Sex = good. Sandwich = good.
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Comments (48)
ill 0
WINGO! She has given you one delightful ace up your sleeve dude. Whatever you do, don't give her your heart. Just straight dick, no cuddle.
CptHeinz 13
True that
bitchinstopshere 0
think of it like this, she has a lot of sexual fantasy's that involve multiple people, or she's really into swinging/3 somes and wants you to be a part of it, but in the end she wants it to be with you...but who knows, culd be completely wrong.
SIK07GTSTANG 0
Dump that bitch.
hazzzz12 0
am i the only other person who agrees with #25?! and i'm a guy for what it counts.
jsmith1199 4
well... kill her
roadbike 0
I'm another guy who agrees with #25. My partner forwarded this along to me because they thought it was beautiful. I agree.
Ribky 0
Agree with #52, it will make her dreams come true.
TheMusician260 0
I call second...jk
jstasilentscream 3
#5 was damn hilarious #8 proves some common sense, something that most of the people around here lack ; YES , it could've been a joke, a damn good one, i would've grab her ass and pull her over me if i would've been given that line, just to show her i play tough too and she'll never have another **** like me. she's not a *****, she simply has a strong personality and the guts to speak her mind, she realizes she doesn't wanna go through life knowing she only got laid with one partner. so 5 points to your girl for rocking 0 points to you for being a pussy ow and #34 could be right, you may have a 6 incher
NobodysLover 0
dang ur girl has it all straight . . . but doesnt mean she'll actually stay with her promise to you. good luck kiddo