Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML
Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Effective
Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Call me by my name
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML
Finger wagging
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
Time is money
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Spare wheel
Today, an ex of mine told me she wanted a threesome. This was great until I realised I wasn't included. FML
Top comments
CanadAssassiN 0
That hardly made sense, but still-thats sucks. Hey, If she is insensitive enough to cheat on you behind your back, she doesnt deserve to have someone that loves her. Im here for you, buddy...TT_TT
Cloudy_fml 0
Think of it like a sex sandwich with you as the bread! Sex = good. Sandwich = good.
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Comments (48)
buffalobuffalo 0
why is that so bad? maybe she's saying she thinks she wants to be with you forever, but because you're both young she wants to play the field a little, too. makes sense.
poukey 0
haha thats funny... She's smart, I wish My first was my last, my 2nd is my last and I didn't have nearly enough in between...
blacklagoon_fml 0
Actually humans are innately monogamous. The drive to have a lot of sex is cultural for both genders and also physical for males, its how we keep our species going. Men are supposed to be horny because if it was up to the female sex drive there wouldnt be enough humans, which is understandable seeing as how the female is the one who has to put the most energy into a child. Children are best raised with 2 parental units who care for them. Polygamy isn't such a bad idea, but it's really different from just sleeping around. Along as people are happy and children are brought up right, it doesn't matter.
BurningSnowman 0
#24: Have you read any discussions on the Internet lately?
CallHerAlaska17 0
That's exactly how I feel about my boyfriend. But I know if I said that it would really upset him. Sex is fun. I want to have fun and experience things. But I really do love him.
Slicky 0
That is so hot. I had a girlfriend very much like her when I was 18 and I've love to have another one right about now.
serially 0
I think she's being reasonable and mature (FHL for having a boyfriend who is is neither). It's silly to expect that both of you will be monogamous forever at this point in your lives.
harechug 0
"People" could also mean females.
kimos 0
I dated a girl like this. Get out now. It was the best decision I ever made.
hayyyyyy88 0
she dosent even have self respectt. i would dump her .. I'm sure you can find better girls out there