Today, my girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her whole life flashed before her eyes. According to her grandmother, my girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML
I keep mine hidden
Today, while my girlfriend is in hospital, I'm left at home with her mom. What I didn't know is that her mom's medication makes her do strange things. I learned that right away when she took a seat next to me, completely naked, on the couch. My girlfriend's mom is my grandmother's age. FML
Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML
You can't hurry love
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Ghost in the machine
Today, my mother told me that my dead grandmother speaks to her. How? When she's thinking of her while brushing her teeth, her electric toothbrush will suddenly stop buzzing and this tells her her mother is communicating with her. FML
Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML
Loner
Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends, and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML
Watch your step
Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML
Top comments
stevenJB 25
Did she happen to take a spike to the head when that happened? Like really hard?
BrookieAnn 19
I see great relationship troubles in your future....ooooooo;)
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Comments (87)
stevenJB 25
Did she happen to take a spike to the head when that happened? Like really hard?
wldd0g 9
I think granny has the wrong definition for psychic. You remember your past, but your future.
twaumat 28
I think they both need help now
euphoricness 28
This is all just like that's so raven where she is psychic, but then she has a vision in the middle of a game and gets spiked in the head
culito_fml 10
How do you even deserve it?? O.0
TheGodDamnJoker 9
IKR OP be glad she didn't dump you, sadly that is the majority of girlfriend related FMLs.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
2 - Sadly, as I've seen in some prior FMLs that relate to the significant other doing something dumb, a small group of people declare that OP deserves it because "you decided to be with them and continue to stay with them regardless of their stupid actions, therefore you deserve whatever happens". It is bad ratiocination in many cases.
Jiinxx 8
I just call them the "YDI Trolls". I'm sure they know OP doesn't deserve it, but they'll say he does anyway to rustle some jimmies.
Shenanigans9 8
Rustling jimmies can go back to the website it came from. We don't use that kind of language here.
OhDearBetrayal 25
He's blessed with a physic girlfriend who's powers could give him some lucky jackpot numbers. He must have done something right so he deserves it.
9lashes 15
-55 i didnt realize we all had to speak a certain way on this website
Yousuck24 21
55: Sshhh no tears, only dreams now.
FightMyLiger 19
#36, is it so irrational to blame a OP for being/staying with a significant other who is summarily a complete idiot? Not that the OP should *always* see it coming... but in extreme circumstances (many FMLs) isn't it plausible that their SO probably gave some clues to just how crazy/stupid they were long before their FML occurred? Example: would you feel bad for playmate Kendra's husband if she claimed to be psychic over a volleyball game? Or say he deserved it?
BrookieAnn 19
I see great relationship troubles in your future....ooooooo;)
Voij 16
Tell her that someone wrote "gullible" onto the ceiling.
j_cat187 20
*steals lungs*
not_a_robot 15
I don't get why people believe in psychics or ghosts. How does anybody fall for this shit? HOW?!
Voij 16
There are a couple of reasons for this, although you do have to divide them according to the type of ghost/psychic in question. Scary ghost stuff: Mainly due to the fear of the unknown. The human mind seeks to find an explanation for everything that happens around it. If none can be found immediately, then it considers defensive measures first and foremost and suggests that fear inducing things might be the cause of these unexplainable events. (Demons, ghosts, monsters etc.) Deceased people ghosts(Psychics mostly refer to this type): Result mainly from a fear of death and the trouble of understanding it. Many people are not willing to accept the belief that human life is nothing but a continuous chemical reaction which ends with a person's death. A full stop. A complete end. They believe that there has to be something else, some grand scheme behind it all. They're afraid of simply ceasing to exist and thus create designs of a life after death, an existence beyond the end, which helps them cope with their demise. Psychics are then the people who interact with people who share these beliefs. Some psychics are knowingly tricking people, trying to cheat them out of money. Others fully believe that they have powers and are more convinced of this than you are of the fact that gravity exists. Whew, really long post. Here's a potato for listening. *hands over a tomato*
dalink 24
I want to like your comment but its too long for me to scroll up and hit the button before it disappears.
ShyAnn29 15
She believes that she all of a sudden became psychic? Sounds like she'll believe anything!
ThatOneDrummer 8
Tell her that "back door action" enhances psychic ability. Sounds like she'll believe anything; use that to your advantage, OP!
rg350dx 29
More like psychotic.
HowieDoIt 21
Maybe she can read your palm after you use it to hit your forehead. Abra kadabra alaka-dumb!
Michael903 18
Break up with her. Bet she won't see that coming!
Han1156 23
I don't think a break up is necessary here, perhaps a therapist is though.
TiggityTony 5
I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for 20 minutes.
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
The profile pic matches the comment subject well.