Today, my girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her whole life flashed before her eyes. According to her grandmother, my girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML
Today, while my girlfriend is in hospital, I'm left at home with her mom. What I didn't know is that her mom's medication makes her do strange things. I learned that right away when she took a seat next to me, completely naked, on the couch. My girlfriend's mom is my grandmother's age. FML
Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Today, my mother told me that my dead grandmother speaks to her. How? When she's thinking of her while brushing her teeth, her electric toothbrush will suddenly stop buzzing and this tells her her mother is communicating with her. FML
Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends, and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML
Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML
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Top comments
stevenJB 25
Did she happen to take a spike to the head when that happened? Like really hard?
BrookieAnn 19
I see great relationship troubles in your future....ooooooo;)
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Comments (87)
perdix 31
That must have been some kill shot!
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
You dont see this every day!
thosedogtags 8
Oh... Really?!?
Enslaved 38
BuckCherry agrees with your name!
olpally 33
Hahaha!! :) I get that reference! :D
perdix 31
When she starts talking to "Wilson," that's when you need to GTFO. Until then, enjoy the ride -- the crazy bitches are the best in the sack!
whatthefreshhell 15
"crazy bitches", eh? I bet you're quite the catch.
timelessone 16
He is ;)
ManInTheMachine 20
22-Read OP's username. That, and take everything perdix says with a pinch of salt. And by a pinch, I mean the whole ******* salt shaker, 'cause he's rarely ever serious. I'm surprised people still don't understand this.
whatthefreshhell 15
Yeah, my bad on the op username part. Meh.
Jacksparrow72 21
Grandma's are crazy right now.
kewpiesuicide 29
You know someone ripped that off of That's So Raven, right?
LennyComa 39
Mkay, Your girlfriend is an Idiot....Everyone knows that if you see dead people you're psychic, life flashing before your eyes is just your run of the mill near death experience. duh, [/Sarcasm}
QQmore_fml 18
Well were you in her future?...
\ 28
I think her grandma watched a little too much "That's So Raven."
Xotoolyxo 16
'Crazybitch' sums it up perfectly