Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML
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Top comments
grapisy 8
Still counts.
FUUUandyourmom 16
What a wonderful girlfriend you've got there!
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Comments (400)
Tonyjb09 0
that is messed up
nooneelse 7
I remember my friend had a crush on guy with a hot body but a bit not as attractive face.. When I asked how you gonna deal with that problem her reply was just put a paper bag on.. Sorry, but I think your girl had a hidden agenda there..
kaylaaa1312 3
Next time, put the bag on HER head. See how she likes it.
Dekenaye 0
"doesn't matter had sex," correct people using the correct phrase before complaining (:
pickles2012 5
well...? is she as good as she said??
waschaffer 5
not only are u ugly, but ur also retarded... FYL is right lol
lmfaoooooooooo 4
she kept looking at her watch doesn't matter have sex but I cried the whole time doesn't matter have sex I think she might have been a racist doesn't matter have sex SHE PUT A BAG ON MY HEAD still counts... I just had sex lonely island reference FTW
Chazzster 32
I'm thinking maybe you had really bad breath?
fropleyquark 0
that's not why she put it on your head
emmarae26 0
that doesn't make sense .