Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML
Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
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Top comments
littlemonster94 15
Ohhhh the ignorance of people sometimes
DocBastard 40
Seems your father was born during the year of the ass.
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Comments (107)
littlemonster94 15
Ohhhh the ignorance of people sometimes
thesubconscious 9
Some people can't handle being wrong
asnakelovinbabe 16
Year of the snake! YEA!
HeartOfLead 24
Is no one noticing the double post?! I mean it's the second time in row this has happened, for crying out loud!
Teyros 24
48- sometimes it happens.. It's some sort of glitch that happens when you posts it posts two..
a1f0sff 25
I live in China and believe me, it's very real. It's not every day that you wake up with firecrackers going off on the building in front of you. OP's dad is really ignorant, he should come here and see for himself.
grmnxsensati0n 4
Anyone who wants to try out a awesome free game, type in league of legends download it and sign up. Btw when it asks for someone who reccommended you copy paste this name: MasturbatingB3ar
gsssxr600 4
Your dads a dick straight up, just like mine..
Ch0sen 13
It's not necessarily ignorance or 'dickishness', parents in general just don't enjoy it very much at all when their children pierce through their facade of infallibility; imagine if you created something that subsequently turned around and challenged your intelligence - the creator will never accept criticism lightly from the created.
squideth 18
78, what? Why would a parent not be happy to realize their child is growing up and learning about the world? "parents in general" are not like this unless they are extremely insecure and immature.
Ch0sen 13
They'd love for their child to grow and learn; they just hate it when they feel that child is using their knowledge condescendingly against them... I know mine do, even when that's not the intention.
mccrightp 29
I like it when my kids tell me new things about the world. Only a booger eating moron shuts himself off like that.
Harpy20 24
Derp.
evilplatypus 39
Oh look! OP's father found the post!
sayyestothedress 24
Merp
Nicole1225 14
His ego plus his ignorance mixes for some impressive stupidity.
THuD29 4
Impressive would not be my choice of words
kendallw13 15
well then it's a good thing you didn't write it
GingerNinja7 17
Interesting... Someone that stupid actually bred intelligent offspring?
XxDevilxXGt 26
I'm not sure you can deduce that OP is intelligent for knowing about the Chinese new year. And hey, OP's mom might be wiser.
RottabFML 5
He is adopted.
fmlforreal92 8
what's OP mean?
Shadow_Phantom 26
@66: Since nobody else seems to want to share this information... OP = Original Poster. The poster of the FML submission, in this case, is the Original Poster.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Orange Possum
zandalee 20
Overly passionate
rimaaafaaarooq 3
Optomus Prime duh (;
manofmerr 27
Overachieving poster.
CaptNomNom 17
Ignorance. Your father has too much. Anyway, happy Chinese New Year folks!
perdix 31
That's a relatively easy lesson on how to deal with stupid people who are in a position of authority over you. Once you got pushback on the Chinese New Year fact, you should have abandoned your Gregorian calendar jibber-jabber. If you know about Rosh Hashanah, you might just want to keep that to yourself.
kalepie 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yes, whats your problem? The new year was over a month ago.
BigSexy123 11
...*facepalm*
evilplatypus 39
I choose to believe 10 was being sarcastic. By "choose" I mean in order to retain my faith in humanity...
kalepie 6
I was indeed being sarcastic.
AssTard 15
You could prove it using a tool called "the internet". It's pretty useful.
DocBastard 40
Seems your father was born during the year of the ass.
AssTard 15
After reading several of the recent FML's, it seems that not only this dad, but many other parents were born in this most unfortunate time period known to most scholars as "ass."
laya_fml 26
How dare you insult his intelligence!
Shmatterhorn 38
If only there was something there to insult.
WizardJeremy 13
Hes not insulting, hes adding and his dick of a father dosen't like new knowledge since he dropped out of college
laya_fml 26
I was joking.... unlike the father, I do have common sense.