Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
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Top comments
lhoavtee 3
if you wee suffocated wouldn't it mean your dead
fluffyrocka 0
breathe op, breathe
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Comments (290)
fluffyrocka 0
breathe op, breathe
broccoli2 0
deep throat her next time. outta teach a lesson or two about suffocating
iSitt 0
some places charge extra for that.
dre_bro11 12
OP, follow 1's idea. Maybe shove a small oxygen tank up there so that the next time she does it you can just hook it up and breathe :P
KaintukeeBob 13
OP couldn't breathe, and therefore died, which is what 'suffocated' means. OP is posting this, either from Heaven, from Hell, or by possessing a human medium to type it up. OP, please, if you are able, tell us what awaits us beyond the veil of death!
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Don't blow oxygen into her! That could cause an embolism.
Uchilah 0
ydi becos u didn't tap out.
TransitionCovert 6
Breathe in the Queef
RavenRiley007 4
lmao tap out?! haha
carcinogan 0
lmao @107
LeStab 4
lol number 100 you don't exhale Oxygen...
yourbiggestflaw1 0
lol number 169, u DO breath out oxygen. atmospheric air (what u inhale) is about 21% oxygen. the air u exhale still has about 15% oxygen. how do u think CPR works?
rocket2 0
tap out!!!
thrAsHeRr9081 16
172- He was simply pointing out that it's mostly carbon dioxide that we breathe out.
wade907 0
169 - CPR works by starting the circulation in the lungs again and you exhale more carbon dioxide than oxygen why do youthink If you breathe into a bag for a long time you'll suffocate you don't keep producing oxygen
Dude123456789 2
love the panda pic, fluffysomething. if u like pandas, then watch this: youtube.com/SuLinThePanda
TheVariableX 0
197- idiots! You can't process all the oxygen in one breath before you breath it out. When you breath into a bag you process the same air again and again, reducing the amount of oxygen each time. You DO breath out oxygen, just less than you took in.
chlorinator 0
I think you meant 172, and 172's comment does reflect the fact that oxygen is consumed, not produced, during respiration. Furthermore, the amount of CO2 in exhaled air is still only about 4%, which is less than the amount of oxygen. Anyway, the whole argument is moot, because an air embolus could be caused by a bubble of any gas getting into the bloodstream, not just oxygen.
impatientsnake 4
u can't just grab some ones head and choke them a triangle choke would work but I have to secure it with one leg lol ur the bitch in the relationship
myfriend9191 0
what does op stand for
myfriend9191 0
what does op mean
gertyygirly 4
original poster
myfriend9191 0
thank you
shunshunrikka89 0
Lol
lhoavtee 3
if you wee suffocated wouldn't it mean your dead
BahahahLOL 0
^ Zombies.
justalilrandom2 4
19 is a genius!
platypus546 24
right on!
nhlnba2 6
Are you sure your girlfriend isn't The Rock?
Blixten 0
Ghosts are real and they use google! Check for urself.. Type: How come i. in the search bar and check the last one..
hockeyrocks39 0
hahahahahahahaha.... smart ass ;)
IdontWanna69 8
22- Good thinking Brock Obama!
krystal1609 4
haha I was thinkin that
seldom66 16
The triangle vag eat. Sounds exhilarating.
tygerarmy 35
It could mean he died, but maybe she resuscitated him. Or he's a zombie. Or maybe he just passed out. She just thought he was dead for a while.
Rosalie_Haostn 0
Naaah he could have either just passed out or he'd have been resuscitated.
kadomos 0
no u pass out first from suffocation
Crncj 0
when an FML starts as "go down on my girlfriend", it shouldn't end as an FML. except in OPs case
halfprincess 3
hawt & funny at the same time xD
ImAKittehCat 0
lol
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
That's what I was thinking XD
longman 1
nice boob
TheLadWhoLived 0
*hot
xledellz 0
Yeah thats hot as!
fw1774 0
nice boob? lol I think it's plural not singular
BayBeezy 0
unless they're extremely uneven..duh
funnyFMLSplz 0
ok, everyones comments right here officially fail.
violetsweety 26
well maybe he feels one is disfigured
robotiick 12
lol
1234USMC 0
Dam I have to find me a girl like that. Haha
ctlnaaia71 8
I better fond a guy with a tongue like his!
insanesna1l 0
yeah op is one lucky bugger
1234USMC 0
let's just hope she wasn't s squirter lmao
i_love_grrr 0
gross lol
jitterbug25 0
I did that to my bf but he didn't suffocate! what's wrong with ops gf for suffocating tenpoor guy!!
ewing 0
i kinda enjoy it when they do that...
Jizwold 0
75 squirters ftw
HarlemzAngelita 0
fuxk that I stay suffocating these hoes lmao
hall1234 0
lmao hope u told her
ChantelRenaeee 0
OP, it was during sex so I guess she's off the hook.
robc32ca 4
OMG did you live?
waswashere 0
nah he posted this from his grave... dumbass
reggie77 0
ha!
Kraly 0
It's called sarcasm, ignorant fool.
1234USMC 0
well we don't like sarcasm up in here BITCH!!!!!! hahaha Jk
Uncle_Moe_Lester 3
nah he was posting this with his final breathe right before he died.
Autoshot 9
If he did die, I'd love to hear how she would explain this one to the cops.
Sweetpea137 0
he lived off of her queefs
hihi1212 1
too far 113 ... eww
docscientist 10
If that's too far, I don't think the comment section of this site is for you.
HeyThereAk 2
wow bahah.
azhigatex 0
No. He died. This is his official obituary. He wanted to let the world know that he was committed to the death to give her one true ******.
spinnerzyo 0
clearly it was sarcasmm 14.
xFuZioN 0
it's called sarcasm... dumbass
justalilrandom2 4
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me! 1 Internet for the person who gets that.
sgtgrim570 0
I'll sit on yours and tell you I love you, too!
Slinkydalatg 6
Monty Python! I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too!
justalilrandom2 4
Will you settle for half an Internet each? I have to go to the store to get another one otherwise.
Sanela 1
What is a 1 Internet???
justalilrandom2 4
1 more Internet than no internets, and one less than two.
thatfrenchguy 8
39- your explanation isn't very clear. you should mention that it's 2 less than 3 otherwise it's very confusing
taintedblue 3
do you know Eric? Eric the half a bee.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
This whole chain of comments is very very confusing XD
bobh_fml 0
M.Python. sit on my face and tell me that you care!
Slinkydalatg 6
Why are all your pets called Eric???
Michele2luv 8
nice :)
justalilrandom2 4
My mistake 73, thanks very much for clarifying.
kazst 2
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too!! I love to hear you oralize, when I'm between your thighs!
tobeson 6
Monty python of course
DeadPixel4 29
Can I have 1 potato instead?
Slinkydalatg 6
Zombie OP!!!!!
Ioannes 0
OMG DID YOU DIED??!!
Scalabrine44 0
aren't u gonna mention your country?
fucklifeits_shit 9
oh, triangle choke in the middle of sex. thats unique. I gotta find a girl like that and btw it should be passed out, not suffocated.
rabid_hobo 0
he coulda suffocated and then been resucitated. Probably not but it's an outside possibility. :)