Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML
Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
That is how I want to die! Anyone who really hates my comments can send over a large-breasted woman to finish me off -- everybody wins!
jbuckets_404 39
Put a paper grocery bag over her head: Problem SOLVED!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
That is how I want to die! Anyone who really hates my comments can send over a large-breasted woman to finish me off -- everybody wins!
jbuckets_404 39
What if it's a large-breasted MALE instead?!
RichardPencil 32
No, that won't do. It's got to be at least one woman and she (or they) have to be somewhat good-looking. I want to get high-fives from the demons and other sinners when I get to my afterlife. Hell is going to be bad enough -- I don't want to be a laughing-stock for getting ****** to death by an ugly chick!
sickerthanyou 13
And you are complaining about motor boating her?
Sagar Nair 12
That’s not the problem. Clearly OP’s an asthmatic and he couldn’t breathe properly when he’s in close spaces i.e. his face in between a girl’s boobs.
Dale Gulley 8
Oh the humanity
jbuckets_404 39
Put a paper grocery bag over her head: Problem SOLVED!!!
RichardPencil 32
Partial credit. You also need a bag for your head in case hers breaks!
WistayShlaio82 13
Sounds like you two should have talked more.
Chris Wasion 3
Go on....
nemcali 34
What about doggy style instead? :)