Today, we had an emergency lockdown in my gym class. As a result, we had to go into the boys' locker room, so naturally, it smelled like a fart in there. Some dumbass had a "brilliant" idea to spray a WHOLE FUCKING CAN OF AXE SPRAY in the locker room. I have asthma. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
It wasn't me, I swear
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Check her out
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML
Get it done already!
Today, we had an emergency lockdown drill. The closest room to me was the bathroom, so I rushed in and went into one of the stalls like I was supposed to, only to find out that a girl in the stall next to me was shitting. And it didn't seem like she was going to be done anytime soon. FML
Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he called "liquid ass." I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML
Foul
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML
RIP
Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML
Top comments
ochiyds 5
you do realize axe body spray is so strong that if you have asthma it can trigger an attack right? And if two puffs in a small room is strong imagine how bad a whole can would be. when your lungs dont work. I'd be upset to.
nemcali 34
She’s upset cos she has asthma and she cannot breathe because of the axe. She was not complaining about the smell, just the solution
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Comments (18)
rodfergie 18
So it smells and you're upset, but someone does something about it and you complain? You get upset when your ice cream is cold, don't you? I need some cheese with all this whine I'm getting.
ochiyds 5
you do realize axe body spray is so strong that if you have asthma it can trigger an attack right? And if two puffs in a small room is strong imagine how bad a whole can would be. when your lungs dont work. I'd be upset to.
Shawnie Gallant 24
You’re a prick.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I really hope karma comes and repeatedly kicks you in the sac with steel-toed boots.
nemcali 34
She’s upset cos she has asthma and she cannot breathe because of the axe. She was not complaining about the smell, just the solution
weeping_willow 25
Except there’s a huge difference between getting a perfume-induced asthma attack and being a whiny brat. I can’t be around strong fragrances for very long without getting a crippling migraine. Stop being ignorant.
KittyMack 13
OP I want you to understand that you have a legal (& ethical) right to be safe even if your "safe" may not be identical to everyone else's. Health problems (such as the need for clean air with lung diseases, migraines etc) fall under the umbrella of disability anti-discrimination laws. As such you are entitled to whatever accommidations (ie, fragrance ban) are needed to avoid impeding your access to the same things your peers access (ie school, work, housing, medical care). The only exceptions are if the request is something dangerous or ruinously expensive, which a fragrance ban is not. So you don't need to take this. I used to have similar problems and didn't fight because bullies give you such a hard time, like you should feel guilty for wanting to breathe, & they'd die without their Axe (or Gain, Glade etc). Because I was such a doormat for so long, my health worsened & I became more & more reactive to synthetic fragrance, til now I am essentially in solitary confinement, unable to go in public at all or even live in a town, because of other people's fumes. Perhaps if I'd been more assertive I would not have deteriorated & I would still have my career & hobbies... a life worth living. Stand up for yourself. Don't be like me & look back regretfully once it's too late. Also... When bullies try to make it sound like you're being selfish remember, A: they have zero legit need for this stuff, you have a legit need to avoid it. They're essentially arguing that they should be free to assault you whenever they like. It's ridiculous & they're pricks! and B: Studies vary (because "reactive" is a spectrum, and not everyone defines it exactly the same) but at least 5-10% of people have significant reactions to synthetic fragrance. So you're surely not the only vulnerable one at your school. By getting an Axe ban (which many schools have btw) you'd be helping plenty of current & future students & staff, not just yourself.
scrublord383 1
TLDR
weaboo 12
LOL OP’s a girl there’s no reason to ban axe in the male locker room OP is just unlucky
ThrottleJockey 36
The real world is going to eat you alive and shit out the bones.
shady80 4
wow, please shut the **** up
RinoaHeartilly 36
I'm horrified that the emergency lockdown part wasn't the worst of this FML.
mattyiscool123 26
Little known fact: the girls locker room is way filthier than the boys locker room
weaboo 12
LOL why do you know
PenguinPal3017 19
Now that's what I call a stinky situation!
BeachMammal 8
Tobacco smoke finally got recognized for the hazard it is; fragrances are next. They are everywhere and cause a lot of people health problems.
Lukr 8
Guess what: Us guys have to deal with that idiot every pe-session. Also yes there is at least obe idiot like that in every class