Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML
Today, I told my long-distance boyfriend that I'd like to throw my legs over my head and have him cram his dick deep inside me. He told me to order a pizza, "It'd be more fun." FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
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Top comments
RayeofSunshine 0
Please tell me you're never going to have sex with him again if he's going to disrespect you like that. You should dump his ass. You deserve better.
nerdsgetmehot 23
If you haven't dumped him yet, I suggest doing so. Don't put up with that. If you do put up with that, then you deserve it! Stand up for yourself.
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Comments (82)
xIshtar 0
LMFAO ahahahaha
DahkLohd 4
FYL for being fugly. Just let him in through the back door. That way he won't have to look at your face.
The_Moustache 6
At least he didn't break up with OP.
yazmi_09 3
she could just take some polyjuice potion and look like someone else
Shaders 0
I guess he could also *puts on shades* call you Russell YEAHH!
folgy 10
Lol this is ******* great but next time you should use is nutsack as a pinyada
knockknock_fml 0
OP - I bet that was just a bitchy reaction of your boy friend, to your dumb "how" question. You should know yourself how to spice bedroom life up and not to ask your boyfriend. FYL indeed.
suuuuurrrrraaaaa 0
fail
SimoneDymond 3
haha it ok OP im sure he was kidding LAST ;D
Doortje 30
Wow, you must really turn him on!
LoveMySoldier82 0
Hey maybe it is just a really kinky fetish. Like making a woman wear a pig mask.
kiefenator 0
ya, who knows the possibilities you could create with a paper bag and a sharpie!! :D
hedgerow 0
Spicy!
cbobrob 3
reminds me of the line in "I just had sex"
alxndr5120 7
still counts xD
bmiller2047 0
I just had sex, and it felt so good!
Sisaac 0
Hivemind.
acccccccc 1
Still counts!!!!
pineapplemilda 0
you should hire people with face masks to come into your house at night and pit a paper bag over his head(: and videotape it
fmlbrooo 0
Dude, your not funny. Like, at all.
samantha_142 0
dumbest thing I've hears... ever.. sorry hah
kiefenator 0
haha awesome suggestion. that should show him. kinky profile pic btw. blue undies ftw
kiara16 0
Ur really not funny...
Ninjafriends 1
As a comeback you should wear the paper bag over your head... but with a picture of your face taped to the front. That's still an insult to yourself, as you're admitting your penis wilting ugliness. You lose no matter what.
fanuvlb 0
or a pic of Justin beiber.
ryry98 7
haha funny and I ur pic!!
skyeyez9 25
Cut two little eye holes and a little hole for your mouth. You'd look like "The Unknown Comic" from the 80's.
randiZ25 0
brown bag??? scary movie???