Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
quickit 24
YDI. Didn't those two years mean anything to you? I would rather have an awkward conversation than lose the girl I love.
Klima_fml 29
.. You tried to shower with your cat? Smart.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
RA91 26
Why not man? I would have told her.
moehearts 5
The girl ****** up for breaking up with someone over STRETCH MARKS so obviously the two years don't mean nothing to her either
BeeHMC 9
@41 I'm not even sure how you came to this conclusion...
annarcheer 19
why would you shower with a cat.?
mimi809o 21
So after two years together, you throw it all away because you didn't wanna tell her you tried showering with the cat. What the frig dude? OP, YDI. big time
RipeFlame 18
I moderated this
laden_swallow09 35
Huh. I would imagine someone could tell the difference between a cat's claw marks and another woman's sex scratches.
LondonderryAir 9
She probably could of but when she casually asked "what happened to your back?" and OP denied everything, alarms may have rung.
Dawgking 9
2 years and she breaks up with because of scratches on your back? WTH
ImTheAlpha 30
She thought he was cheating. that's kinda worthy of a break up no matter how long you've been together.
Setareh23 34
Especially if OP refused to tell her the reason they were there. Imagine you notice your bf has scratch marks on his back, you ask about them, and he immediately tries to hide them and deny things and won't tell you how he got them. In that case, it was very reasonable of her to assume he got them from another girl while having sex.
Dwarfed 9
could've said you were trying to give the cat a bath and it ran down your back, its true enough
emmama19 15
After two years of being together I doubt you would be embarrassed to tell her something like that. The two of you should be best friends as partners. Plus I've got to be honest, cat scratches look a whole lot different to human ones - unless the "girl" sharpened them into points. Something tells me there is far more behind this story.
BeeHMC 9
I'm glad someone finally said it
elusiveshame 22
Sounds like she dodged a bullet