Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML
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Top comments
quickit 24
YDI. Didn't those two years mean anything to you? I would rather have an awkward conversation than lose the girl I love.
Klima_fml 29
.. You tried to shower with your cat? Smart.
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Comments (117)
devildog562 33
Never shower with a cat, without videoing it for all of us to laugh at. You deserve this for so many reasons.
_cameronkc_ 17
******* forreal man. I see you everywhere
TahoeFMler 22
You're a moron for not speaking up. I hope she gets the cat.
giantsfan2010 23
She probably wouldn't have believed you anyway.
vikky538 29
you should have balls to tell her that you shower with a pussy...
Emmers__27 7
How is it better to let her believe you cheated on her than to fess up about something stupidly embarrassing?
keiNan_fml 35
you ******* deserve it... you don't even have the balls to tell what happened...
ZannityZan 13
So you let her break up with you because you didn't want to admit something trivially embarrassing? YDI.
HarshD9619 34
Having an awkward conversation is any day better than losing your love of 2 years. YDI.
baileygirl88 8
What the damn hell ??
killthedead 13
You're an idiot!