Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML
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Top comments
quickit 24
YDI. Didn't those two years mean anything to you? I would rather have an awkward conversation than lose the girl I love.
Klima_fml 29
.. You tried to shower with your cat? Smart.
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Comments (117)
baileybutler 16
Your relationship mustn't have been very strong if you couldn't tell her this...
Parvati48 15
If those two years and she meant anything to you then you should tell her the truth and not lose someone you love. Who cares if it's embarrassing. Also why did you think showering with your cat would be a good idea? YDI lol.
kristen5286 12
two years wasn't worth your pride?
fuggotmuggot 14
I don't think she would have believed you anyway.
blubje 17
YDI Why would you try to shower with a cat? That is the stupidest thing ever...No wait..losing your 2y relationship over this is the stupidest thing.
lina21 12
YDI how did you expect a shower with the cat to go?
Zappaz 32
Going out for two years and not comfortable talking about a silly idea?
Melspence 15
Kinda similar thing happened to me. My bf thought I was cheating cuz I had a rug burn, or similar thing on my back. He thought it was from someone else cuz we had never had sex on a rug. It was really from my bra... Just explain it to her, that's not a reason to break up with her!! Unless you have another reason :/
ClumsyKee 14
Well that was kind of douchey of you. Now she left thinking she's been cheated on because you had to save yourself a little embarrassment. Were those 2 years really less valuable than that?
PSYqualiac 17
#79, Damn... I still think and act the exact same way I did when I was 7... I really need medical help apparently. Just because people don't change doesn't mean something is wrong with them. They may not have needed to change.