Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML
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Top comments
quickit 24
YDI. Didn't those two years mean anything to you? I would rather have an awkward conversation than lose the girl I love.
Klima_fml 29
.. You tried to shower with your cat? Smart.
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Comments (117)
scottyboy417 19
What is wrong with you? Most people wouldn't hesitate to tell their significant other of two years about an incident like that, it would make for a great laugh in my opinion if they were fun.
Mysterious_one 26
get some help.. shower with the cat? were you high?
skitzymew 19
YDI for not telling her. But also how could she not tell the difference between cat scatches and scratches from a humans fingers?
valalvax 13
31 comments before someone realized this, I opened comments looking for this
TanzWolf 26
Finally, I was wondering this as well... Human nails wouldn't leave scratches like that.
Stryker_13 19
This just goes to show a wet pussy always takes priority xD
rushalm 7
Woah Sick Bastard! I hope you didn't lose your virginity to the same cat!
JuzReading 23
Is it really that hard to tell her the truth?
nemcali 34
WHY did you want to shower with your cat???
Striker_Jr 16
Whats the matter, cat got your tongue?
clemscott 10
I am assuming you do not have some disgusting fetish and were instead trying to wash the cat. In that case, how the hell is that embarrassing or awkward to talk about?
LondonderryAir 9
It isn't if your assumption is correct...
sydstoomuch 19
But it seems you have the nerve to tell the whole world